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Sabrina here and I'm going to share a few insights that will actually change your life. Few things are inevitable in life: death, taxes.... and dealing with difficult people. From work to friendships to romantic relationships, difficult interactions can hit us from all angles and can take a heavy toll on us. A few days ago, I was doing some much needed reorganizing and I found this packet from a class I went to many moons ago. I can't remember who taught it, but the packet was filled with amazing and humorous "rules" for dealing with difficult people. Within these humorous insights are pearls of wisdom that can help you keep your cool during an argument or any other trying exchange. I really wish I could give you the source, but no names were written on the sheet so all I have is the information. I couldn't keep it all to myself though, so here are some amazing (and I'd even say life-changing) rules. The 24 Hour Rule It is imperative to wait 24 hours before reacting when we feel angry. This is because: - natural consequences will take care of the problem - you can calm down and come up with a different perspective - the issue is no longer important The Elephant Rule Picture that a huge, fat elephant is coming your way. What do you do? You move away and let the elephant go by. The same is true when someone negative, angry or bitter is coming your way. Instead of getting in his way, just move and let him go by. Don't provoke or try to argue with him because he might stamp you. The Madhouse Rule While walking, you see a sign on a building that says "Madhouse" and for some reason you hear a man shouting from one of the windows saying: "HEY!! You man, are so crazy!" Do you really believe him? Do you take it personally? Do you let it bother your? Or do you ignore him and think: "Poor guy, he is locked in the madhouse and yet he thinks that I'm the crazy one." You might find it humorous or might even feel compassion, right? Well, you could have the same attitude towards other people, especially with strangers, people that hardly know you, or people in the street. For examples: why bother to react when another driver insults you? Or when a coworker is trying to push your buttons and you know it? This would be a good rule to apply. The Hospital Rule Imagine a very sick person that is lying on a hospital bed, hooked up with so many tubes that it's almost impossible for him to move. You are sitting on the other side of the room feeling very thirsty. You notice that there is a glass of water right next to the sick person. What do you do? Do you ask him to pass you the glass? After all it is just a small glass, no big deal, right? It is obvious that you would not bother him; you know better than that because he's so sick! You don't expect him to pass the glass to you and you don't get angry or take it personally. And that is exactly what you should do when you are with people that cannot understand what you need, or are incapable of doing, saying, or giving what you would want. It is much better if you do not ask them, and do not expect them to do something for you. Trust me, you will definitely live better and you will have less stress in your life. Sabrina Alexis A New Mode
Nicole posted a topic in Mental HealthHere's how to strike that "Goldilocks" balance between too much stress and too little. This may come as unpleasant news, but all stress isn’t bad. That doesn't mean that feeling overwhelmed and exhausted at work isn't a problem—it is. But some stress, in short bursts, can actually drive your performance on the job if you know how to use it. And that's a bit of a balancing act. You don't need to be told that too much stress can hurt your health and productivity. But many people don't quite grasp how to use a certain degree of work-related stress to help them. Here's a look at the different kinds of stress you're likely to experience and how to strike that delicate balance. PUTTING ACUTE STRESS TO WORK Research from the University of California–Berkeley hints at how some stress can actually be helpful. In the 2013 study, researchers subjected stem cells in the brains of rats to significant but brief periods of stress (in other words, "acute" stress), which caused them to generate new cells. Two weeks later, after these new cells had matured, the rats’ alertness, learning, and memory had improved. The researchers inferred that acute stress may help keep the brain alert, and that better alertness equals better performance. From an evolutionary standpoint, this makes sense: Stress is what helps animals adapt and survive, and that's no less true for modern humans. Inanother study, scientists at UC San Francisco analyzed this effect on a cellular level in humans. The results indicated that while chronic stress is damaging, small bouts of acute stress keep our brains resilient and can condition us to persevere under pressure. So what does this research mean for the workplace? Simply that stress isn’t inherently bad and that some of it can actually be good. It can push employees forward and help them perform at their best. Think about delivering a presentation, landing a big account, or meeting a tight deadline. During each of these stressful events—which are limited in length and can feel intense but not life-threatening—employees kick into high gear and push themselves to get results. WHERE CHRONIC STRESS TAKES OVER Just because some stress is good doesn’t mean it all is, though. We’ve heard over and over again that stress can have a negative impact on our health and well-being. And that’s exactly what chronic stress does. As the Mayo Clinic explains, when we feel stress, hormones including adrenaline and cortisol are released. Once the stressful event is over, our hormone levels go back to normal. But when we constantly feel stressed, our response system stays active, which means our hormones remain at unhealthy levels for extended periods of time. This type of chronic stress impacts every system of the body, including the respiratory, cardiovascular, and endocrine systems. That can lead to changes in appetite, loss of sleep, panic and asthma attacks, heart disease, weight gain, and more, according to the American Psychological Association. Unfortunately, many professionals experience chronic stress on an daily basis. And when it takes a toll on the employees' health, it can hurt the health of a business as a whole. A 2015 study published inManagement Science found that workplace stress causes additional expenditures of anywhere from $125 to $190 billion dollars a year. So if occasional stress helps employees grow, but too much stunts them, the challenge is finding the right balance. Here are a few ways to do that. SET TOUGH BUT ACHIEVABLE CHALLENGE When employees get comfortable with their regular tasks, it’s time to push them outside their comfort zones with new responsibilities. Those unfamiliar tasks can introduce the right amount of stress that pushes them to take on new challenges and learn new things. If you’re going to give employees new tasks, though, you first need to remove some of the older responsibilities they’ve already mastered. Otherwise they’ll feel overloaded, which can lead to chronic stress. Many professionals feel they have an unrealistic amount of work to do already, so if you aren't careful to keep your team members' workloads in check, assigning that "stretch" assignment can lead to burnout, not growth. ASSIGN ONE BIG TASK AT A TIME Give employees a large task, like delivering a presentation, leading a meeting, spearheading an initiative, or taking the lead on a major project. Whatever the project is, only assign one at a time. That way, employees are clear on what their priorities are and what they need to focus on. Unclear expectations can be a huge stressor. Focusing on one project at a time will help clear up what needs to get done and allow employees to set realistic goals to complete them. At the same time, each new project will introduce small amounts of stress to steadily improve employees' performance and skill sets. GIVE YOUR TEAM MEMBERS CONTROL Many professionals feel they don't have enough control over the timelines for completing their work, a feeling that chronic stress tends to exacerbate. And when their managers constantly change their priorities, team members are left scrambling to stay on track—and chronically stressed out. Instead, work with employees to set realistic goals and deadlines. That doesn't mean getting rid of deadlines altogether—timetables can still help apply small amounts of acute stress, which can be useful. But it's important to give your team members some say over what deadlines make sense. That will help control stress levels to ensure that the pressure remains productive, not overwhelming. Chronic stress is rampant among employees, and employers need to do their part to help create healthier work environments. At the same time, they should challenge employees to reach their potential. So banishing stress from the workplace probably isn't a feasible solution any more than a desirable one. The right balance is tough to strike, but it's achievable. In fact, that's a pretty good target for work itself—tough but achievable. https://www.fastcompany.com/3064562/work-smart/sorry-but-some-work-related-stress-is-good-for-you
And the tech giant has created an app to fix that The new Apple Watch will include the Breathe app — Screencap from Apple's web site The third iteration of the Apple Watch, unveiled today at the company’s Worldwide Developer Conference (WWDC), will have a number of new apps focused on health, allowing it to compete more directly with wearables like Fitbit. Its new Activity app will help athletes share results with their friends; another is specially designed to track the activity of athletes bound to wheelchairs. But, as Jay Blahnik, Apple’s director of fitness and health technologies said in his presentation today, there’s more to health than fitness. The new Breathe app is designed to help stressed-out users relax. Several times throughout the day, the app will ping the user, saying it’s time to take a minute to breathe. The user can hit the snooze button, so the reminder comes back later if they’re in the middle of something, or they can start the exercises then. Using animations and vibrations, the app then guides the user through deep breathing exercises that last between one and five minutes. The watch detects the user’s heart rate, which shows up on the screen, to see how the exercises are working. Deep breathing isn’t a new technique—it’s been incorporated into millennia-old practices like meditation and yoga. Although a quote from Deepak Chopra, whoGizmodo calls a “noted bullshitter,” was included in Blahnik’s presentation, the science backing up the benefits of breathing exercises is rock solid. Over the past few decades, multiple studies have shown that deep breathing can help ease symptoms of mental illnesses such as anxiety, stress, and depression, as well as physiological ailments such as pain (even during childbirth) andrecovery after heart surgery. “You can influence asthma; you can influence chronic obstructive pulmonary disease; you can influence heart failure,” Mladen Golubic, an internist at the Cleveland Clinic’s Center for Integrative Medicine, told NPR. “There are studies that show that people who practice breathing exercises and have those conditions — they benefit.” Here’s the thing, though—if you’re stressed about doing your exercises right, or if some digital system repeatedly diverts your attention while you’re occupied with something else, then there’s no point. But for Apple Watch users who could use a little mental health break throughout the day, this app might just be a game changer. Source: http://www.vocativ.com/329058/apple-is-worried-about-how-stressed-out-you-are/