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JW Grandparents Who Shun Children Should Likewise be Banned from Contacting Grandchildren


Jack Ryan

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Dateline: Saturday,  September 1, 2018

Warwick Assembly Baptisms   700   ..jpg

WARWICK NY — Special Assembly Representatives of Jehovah’s Witnesses at their new World Headquarters, known as “Bethel”,  reported being surprised at Saturday afternoon’s session when they were directed to the  newly constructed balcony entrance for seating.

“We normally get there early so we can sit as close to the Governing Body as possible,” Assembly Delegate  Stephen Lett, Jr.  told reporters. “We were all like, ‘What’s going on?'”

They did not have to wonder for long.

Governing Body’s Helper Alan Cage, dressed in costume as a  regular person  took the stage under a single spotlight, and after some coy banter, he reportedly announced that it was “Baptism Saturday,” but that this was “not your Mama’s Saturday afternoon  Assembly baptism!”

 At this cue, a giant  four story high spiral water slide, stretching from the balcony down to the on-stage baptismal pool, was unveiled from behind a large curtain, to thunderous applause from assembled delegates.

Children as young as four years old, who had been ushered single file to the new entrance were directed one-by-one into the orange spiral sliding board and, with a push, sent hurtling toward baptismal pool, answering the two baptismal questions as they increased spiral velocity “Yes!” and “Yes!” . Jehovah’s Witnesses Elders  in wet swimsuits and white t-shirts asked the questions as they whizzed by to the pool below.

Anthony Morris III, one of eight Jehovah’s Witness Governing Body members wearing a leopard skin spandex leotard emblazoned with large white  initials TPT,  architect of what has been dubbed by Bethel insiders as “Splashdown  Saturday.”  told reporters “The water slide is fun for the little kiddies, but the whole reason we did this is to get the most number of people baptized in the least amount of time possible.” 

“ … we can’t count some of these baptisms because someone didn’t  say “yes” to the baptismal questions, or because someone’s head wasn’t completely submerged, then what’s the point?”

In the dry-off area next to the baptismal pool, a group of dripping four to seven year old children were being dried off behind a screened area with sacramental pillow cases  from the Bethel Laundry

At publishing time, the  JW.ORG  website reports that the church has broken its own record for the most baptisms in a single Saturday afternoon.

 

 

 

… my apologies to  “The Onion”

 

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I am beginning to believe that ALL the Scriptures in the Bible, talking about how the "love of the greater number will cool off", and in the end times, a wide range of cruelties will be abundant, that

This is a case of being "righteous overmuch" or "self-righteous" and "haughty" like the Pharisees. Paul put the ideas together in Romans quoted above: (Romans 1:28-2:1) 28 And just as they did

I often chalk up your statements as hyperbole-laden rants. But this I must agree with whole-heartedly. One can make an argument that our process is actually Biblical, but then Jesus said it was OK to

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It has been less than an hour since I posted the above parody ... but someone from another State called me to ask "Is this FOR REAL?"

Of course it is not .... it's a PARODY .... but the very sad thing is, that things have gotten so goofy, among the Witness culture ... that a highly intelligent person is stunned ... and had to ask that question.

I mean ... after you go through the "Overlapping Generations" explanation ... ANYTHING is possible.

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8 hours ago, Space Merchant said:

EDIT:

I notice we went from squares to circles in our avatars. Didn't see the page change, or notice it, til now. But hey, circle is the future, squares is soooooo last year.

I grew up with all my relatives in Littleton, North Carolina ... a town so small, the town square .... was a person.

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@James Thomas Rook Jr. Yes, this is The Elevation Church, a mega-church, ran and or helped to be brought up by the Charismatic Pastor named Steven Furtick. (Steven Furtick Jr.). He is the cog to this church's wheel, so to speak.

The image above is satire spoof (origin being The Babylon Bee), but I can see why anyone would jump the gun before double checking, triple checking, etc.

However, how they do baptisms is somewhat weird, as seen by the videos and images in regards to that mega church, in their eyes, they believe once "saved always saved" - which is false, for Salvation is received and it must be maintained, for it is a hard fight, and Salvation can be lost and or regained.

The whole overlapping generations is somewhat complex and is often over exaggerated by those who perhaps have no idea what it is, but to others, they tend to see of why this is. I haven't delved into it for I am a bit busy with other things.

As for the last part, never been to North Carolina, but have driven past it when going to Florida, I do know some people from there, one guy from Ghana who has given me a run for my money in Futball (Soccer) the first 2 Summers until I read him like a book (every Summer he shows up, and screams HEY very loudly to make sure everyone knows he is here, sometimes when we less expect it). He's fast, a show-off, and somewhat competitive, mainly when there is girls who are spectating, to which he tries to showboat and overdoes it, the irony is his reaction time is a bit poor and his defense is weak to the point a child can easily get the ball past him (his offensive is what puts him forward), other than that a good friend, willing to understand and be reasonable.

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On 9/3/2018 at 1:42 AM, Gone Away said:
On 9/2/2018 at 7:22 PM, Anna said:

shunning family members

I thought disfellowshipping was a congregational and spiritual measure taken in the case of an individual who is unrepentant regarding serious sin.

It seems that many problems result from those who make up their own rules and definitions on this matter 

I'm sorry, it's my fault, I worded it wrong. I should have said close relatives, or members of a family not living together. The only time when "shunning" is is not applied, under our current interpretation,  is with a husband and wife, or children still living at home.

I know you and I have talked about this before on here. I know the org. cannot make rules on every situation and instance, but the general principle applies, that disfellowshipped relatives are to be shunned. The convention video last year made that quite clear. I think it's the video I have a problem with more than anything. Elders are usually quite understanding when it comes to relatives. My son visits his disfellowshipped father when he is in Europe, the elders know about it, but haven't said anything. A sister on here commented a few months back that elders in her congregation were counseling her on her association with her disfellowshipped daughter, and she told them that her daughter is going to be taking care of her when she is old. They left it alone after that. From a purely practical perspective I cannot see how shunning children or parents is possible. The Bible tells the children to honor their mother and father, and it has no time limit, as in whether they are still living at home or not.

I really believe 1 Cor. 5:11 does not apply to relatives, especially parents/adult children. But of course that's just my personal opinion! :)

 

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7 minutes ago, Anna said:

I don't believe you! Or was it someone who had been a Witness a very loooong time ago?

Anna, Anna, Anna, Anna .......

Ye of so little faith!

In dealing with humans there is truely INFINITE variety ...   pesky DNA!

Even Einstein did not understand the Internal Revenue Tax System ... or how to comb his hair.

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ANNA!

I think I just GOT IT! ... and it only took a full hour!

Did you mean that my absurd parody would have NOT been believed , say during the 1960's ... but that as nutty as things are now ... the parody might be entirely believable as contemporary reality NOW?

If that is the case, you are right ... both me and my correspondent grew up in the Truth in the 60's, and early 70's.

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4 hours ago, James Thomas Rook Jr. said:

ANNA!

I think I just GOT IT! ... and it only took a full hour!

Did you mean that my absurd parody would have NOT been believed , say during the 1960's ... but that as nutty as things are now ... the parody might be entirely believable as contemporary reality NOW?

If that is the case, you are right ... both me and my correspondent grew up in the Truth in the 60's, and early 70's.

Hahaha, actually on the contrary. I thought your correspondent was in the truth during such crazy times as "organ transplant makes you take up the personality of the donor" and "there are demons lurking in your mattress  or any item you buy at the yard sale" and other absurdities.  And I was right, those were the 60's. I know you believe things have got crazier, but I don't think they have. No one who is currently in the truth would think that the parody was real. But someone who had left the truth 50 years ago might!

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2 minutes ago, James Thomas Rook Jr. said:

I agree about moving on ... but not forgetting the indelible lessons cruelly burned into our bodies and souls as if with  fire, by those who intended to rule wisely ... but who, above all else ... intended ....... and still intend .......  to rule.

They CANNOT be fired ... and they know it.

We will see only when the second coming of the Son of God returns.

I do not think anyone who is of the Priesthood can be fired, per-say, hey can lose their Salvation, and being of the church, they can succumb to Church Disciplinary Action, in addition to losing God's favor, and be put in a position to bring him or herself up and repent, for even the most righteous of man can fall - if you want literal, have him or her walk barefoot over a Lego play set and 100% guaranteed, such one would fall.

But yes, this, they know or any of the chosen, know.

Other than that, being of the Priesthood is very important, one mishap and that invitation will be revoked.

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