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Actual Ads from the New York Times

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FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 YEARS OLD. HATEFUL LITTLE DOG. BITES.

FREE PUPPIES: 1/2 COCKER SPANIEL, 1/2 SNEAKY NEIGHBOR'S DOG.

FREE PUPPIES... PART GERMAN SHEPHERD, PART STUPID DOG.

GERMAN SHEPHERD 85 lbs. NEUTERED. SPEAKS GERMAN. FREE.

FOUND: DIRTY WHITE DOG. LOOKS LIKE A RAT ... BEEN OUT AWHILE .. BETTER
BE A REWARD.

SNOW BLOWER FOR SALE... ONLY USED ON SNOWY DAYS.

COWS, CALVES NEVER BRED ... ALSO 1 GAY BULL FOR SALE.

NORDIC TRACK $300 HARDLY USED, CALL CHUBBY.

HUMMERS - LARGEST SELECTION EVER - "IF IT'S IN STOCK, WE HAVE IT!"

GEORGIA PEACHES, CALIFORNIA GROWN - 89 cents lb.

NICE PARACHUTE: NEVER OPENED - USED ONCE.

JOINING NUDIST COLONY! MUST SELL WASHER & DRYER $300.

OPEN HOUSE: BODY SHAPERS TONING SALON. FREE COFFEE &DONUTS.

FOR SALE: ONE MAN SIX WOMAN HOT TUB

(AND THE BEST ONE) . .

FOR SALE BY OWNER: Complete set of Encyclopedia Britannica - no longer
needed. Got married last month. Wife knows everything.

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