Advice from Men to Women

[SciTechPress]

Never buy a 'new' brand of beer because 'it was on sale.'

If we're in the backyard and the TV in the den is on, that doesn't
mean we're not watching it.

Don't tell anyone we can't afford a new car. Tell them we don't want
one.

Whenever possible please try to say whatever you have to say during
commercials.

Only wearing your new lingerie once does not send the message that
you need more. It tells us lingerie is a bad investment.

Please don't drive when you're not driving.

Don't feel compelled to tell us how all the people in your stories
are related to one another: We're just nodding, waiting for
the punchline.

The quarterback who just got pummeled isn't trying to be brave.
He's just not crying. Big difference!

When the waiter asks if everything's okay, a simple 'Yes' is fine. It
does not mean that is your chance to complain about the taste of the
water and the salsa.

What do you mean, 'leering?' She's obstructing my view.

When I ask, 'How many guys have you slept with?' It would be much
appreciated if you did not answer honestly.

When I'm turning the wheel and the car is nosing onto the off-ramp,
saying 'Oh, this is our exit, Honey' is not really necessary.

When you're not around, I belch so loudly that I even appall myself.

The temperature in the cave will be my responsibility. It will be
slightly to moderately cooler than you want it.

SportsCenter starts at 10:00 P.M. and runs one hour. This is an
excellent time for you to pay bills, put laundry in the dryer, or talk
to your sister.

Is it too much to ask to have the bra match the underwear?

If we see you in the morning and at night, why call us at work?

You probably don't want to know what we're thinking about.

It's in neither your interest nor ours to take the Cosmo quiz
together! 
 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

...especially not taking the Cosmo quiz .....