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  1. Jack Ryan
    2 Kings 2:23-25 One day Elisha, Elijah's bitch, was walking to Bethel (not the one in New York). Some smart-ass kids decide to jokingly call him bald, which, would stand to reason, he was. So what does a spiritually mature man like Elisha do? He curses the children in the name of Jeholoahbah . Jeholoahbah decides it fitting that these children die, so he blesses Elijah's petty request and has two she-bears "[tear] 42 of the children to pieces". Elisha just sloughs this off and makes on his merry way to Mount Carmel (wasn't he headed to Bethel? Sounds like Elisha has ADD). The moral of the story kids is that you should respect your ELDERS, or Jeholoahbah may murder you for something as trivial as calling someone bald. Thank you oh merciful God Jeholoahbah.
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