Jump to content

Search the Community

Showing results for tags 'dilbert quotes'.



More search options

  • Search By Tags

    Type tags separated by commas.
  • Search By Author

Content Type


Forums

  • English
  • Need Graters looking for accommodation in Rural African Homes's Topics
  • Vancouver, WA's Cerveza Craft y Community!
  • Virtuality's Topics
  • Jewelry's Topics
  • AI's Topics
  • Missing Persons's Topics
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses's Topics
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses's Weekly Study Materials
  • Testigos de Jehová's Tema
  • Star Trek's Topics
  • Cadillac's Topics
  • Kitsap County, WA's Topics
  • Washington State's Topics
  • Cannabinoids's Topics
  • The English Language's Topics
  • Science and Faith's Topics
  • Peak Oil's Topics
  • Cryptocurrency and Blockchains's Topics
  • Jennifer Leann Carpenter's Topics
  • Consolidated Edison, Inc. Shareholders Club's Topics
  • Tandem Diabetes Care, Inc Shareholders's Topics
  • U.S. Veterans's Topics
  • Veeva Systems, Inc. Shareholders's Topics
  • Appian Shareholders's Topics
  • Chevrolet Volt's Topics
  • Nederlands's Topics
  • ελληνικά's Topics
  • Μάρτυρες του Ιεχωβά's Topics
  • Tieng Viet's Topics
  • русский's Topics
  • Свидетели Иеговы's Topics
  • Polski's Topics
  • Świadkowie Jehowy's Topics
  • Mga Saksi ni Jehova's Topics
  • Testemunhas de Jeová's Topics
  • Portugués's Topics
  • Testimoni di Geova's Topics
  • Zeugen Jehovas's Topics
  • Deutsches Forum's Topics
  • Gesundheit und Medizin's Topics
  • Témoins de Jehovah's Topics
  • Nouvelles du Monde's Topics
  • Noticias Mundiales's Topics
  • Salud y Medicina's Topics
  • Arte y Cultura's Topics
  • Estilo y Moda's Topics
  • Ciencia's Topics
  • Tecnología's Topics
  • Alimentos y Bebidas's Topics
  • Conversación General's Temas
  • Catolicismo's Topics
  • La Santa Biblia's Reina-Valera
  • Arqueología Bíblica's Topics
  • Catholicism's Topics
  • LDS's Topics
  • Judaism's Topics
  • Islam's Topics
  • Biblical Archaeology's Topics
  • Buddhism's Topics
  • Hinduism's Topics
  • Atheists's Topics
  • Scientology's Topics
  • The Holy Bible's Topics
  • The Holy Bible's King James Version (1611)
  • Eastern Orthodoxy's Topics
  • Eastern Orthodoxy's Russian Orthodox
  • Eastern Orthodoxy's Greek Orthodox
  • Christians's Topics
  • Christians's Anglican Church
  • Christians's Seventh-Day Adventist
  • Christians's Baptist Church
  • Christians's Methodist Church
  • Korea 세계 포럼's Topics / 주제
  • Style & Fashion's Topics
  • The Faceberg's Topics
  • Amazon.com's Topics
  • Alphabet Inc.'s Topics
  • The Band Journey and Steve Perry's Topics
  • Airbnb's Topics
  • Luis Miguel's Topics
  • Tesla Motors's Topics
  • Climate Change's Topics
  • Doomsday Preppers's Topics
  • Architectural Intrigue's Topics
  • Health & Medicine's Topics
  • Automotive's Topics
  • Food & Drink's Topics
  • Arts & Culture's Topics
  • Creation of Jehovah God Truly Created in Wisdom!'s Topics
  • Real Estate's Topics
  • Real Estate's Listings
  • Aviation's Topics
  • I Grew Up in the 70's & 80's's Topics
  • Football's Topics
  • Space's Topics
  • Starbucks Coffee Club's Topics
  • Apple's Topics
  • Royalty's Topics
  • Nike's Topics
  • The Wonderful World of Disney's Topics
  • Portland, Oregon Metro Region (PDX)'s Topics
  • Nepal's Topics
  • China's Topics
  • Coca-Cola's Topics
  • India's Topics
  • Mexico's Topics
  • Christian Apologetics's Topics
  • Money & Business's Topics
  • Tiếng Việt's Chủ đề

Categories

  • Files
  • Need Graters looking for accommodation in Rural African Homes's Files
  • Virtuality's Files
  • Jewelry's Files
  • Support's Files
  • Missing Persons's Files
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses's Files
  • Testigos de Jehová's Archivos
  • Science and Faith's Files
  • Chevrolet Volt's Files
  • Nederlands's Files
  • Mga Saksi ni Jehova's Files
  • Testemunhas de Jeová's Files
  • Zeugen Jehovas's Files
  • The Holy Bible's Files
  • The Faceberg's Files
  • JW Sisters's Files

Categories

  • Records
  • Food and Drink
  • Health and Medicine
  • Religion
  • Español

Blogs

There are no results to display.

There are no results to display.

Calendars

  • Community Calendar
  • Need Graters looking for accommodation in Rural African Homes's Events
  • Vancouver, WA's Event Calendar
  • Vancouver, WA's Events
  • Virtuality's Events
  • Jewelry's Events
  • AI's Events
  • Missing Persons's Events
  • Jehovah’s Witnesses's Events
  • Testigos de Jehová's Calendario
  • Star Trek's Events
  • Cadillac's Events
  • Kitsap County, WA's Events
  • Washington State's Events
  • Cannabinoids's Events
  • The English Language's Events
  • Science and Faith's Events
  • Tandem Diabetes Care, Inc Shareholders's Events
  • Veeva Systems, Inc. Shareholders's Events
  • Appian Shareholders's Events
  • Chevrolet Volt's Events
  • Nederlands's Events
  • ελληνικά's Events
  • Μάρτυρες του Ιεχωβά's Events
  • Μάρτυρες του Ιεχωβά's Events
  • Tieng Viet's Events
  • русский's Events
  • Свидетели Иеговы's Events
  • Polski's Events
  • Świadkowie Jehowy's Events
  • Mga Saksi ni Jehova's Events
  • Testemunhas de Jeová's Events
  • Portugués's Events
  • Testimoni di Geova's Events
  • Zeugen Jehovas's Events
  • Deutsches Forum's Events
  • Gesundheit und Medizin's Events
  • Témoins de Jehovah's Events
  • Noticias Mundiales's Events
  • Salud y Medicina's Events
  • Arte y Cultura's Events
  • Estilo y Moda's Events
  • Ciencia's Events
  • Tecnología's Events
  • Alimentos y Bebidas's Events
  • Conversación General's Eventos
  • Catolicismo's Events
  • Arqueología Bíblica's Events
  • Catholicism's Events
  • LDS's Events
  • Judaism's Events
  • Islam's Events
  • Biblical Archaeology's Events
  • Buddhism's Events
  • Hinduism's Events
  • The Holy Bible's Events
  • Eastern Orthodoxy's Events
  • Christians's Events
  • The Faceberg's Events
  • Amazon.com's Events
  • Alphabet Inc.'s Events
  • The Band Journey and Steve Perry's Events
  • Airbnb's Events
  • Luis Miguel's Events
  • Tesla Motors's Events
  • Climate Change's Events
  • Doomsday Preppers's Events
  • Architectural Intrigue's Events
  • Health & Medicine's Events
  • Automotive's Events
  • Food & Drink's Events
  • Arts & Culture's Events
  • Real Estate's Events
  • Aviation's Events
  • I Grew Up in the 70's & 80's's Events
  • Football's Events
  • Space's Events
  • Starbucks Coffee Club's Events
  • Apple's Events
  • Royalty's Events
  • Nike's Events
  • The Wonderful World of Disney's Events
  • Portland, Oregon Metro Region (PDX)'s Events
  • Nepal's Events
  • China's Events
  • Coca-Cola's Events
  • India's Events
  • Mexico's Events
  • Money & Business's Events

Find results in...

Find results that contain...


Date Created

  • Start

    End


Last Updated

  • Start

    End


Filter by number of...

Joined

  • Start

    End


Group


About Me

Found 1 result

  1. A magazine recently ran a "Dilbert Quotes" contest. They were looking for people to submit quotes from their real life Dilbert-type managers. Here are the finalists: 1. "As of tomorrow, employees will only be able to access the building using individual security cards. Pictures will be taken next Wednesday and employees will receive their cards in two weeks." (This was the winning quote from Fred Dales at Microsoft Corp. in Redmond, WA.) 2. "What I need is a list of specific unknown problems we will encounter." (Lykes Lines Shipping) 3. "E-mail is not to be used to pass on information or data. It should be used only for company business." (Accounting manager, Electric Boat Company) 4. "This project is so important, we can't let things that are more important interfere with it." (Advertising/Marketing manager, United Parcel Service) 5. "Doing it right is no excuse for not meeting the schedule." 6. "No one will believe you solved this problem in one day! We've been working on it for months. Now, go act busy for a few weeks and I'll let you know when it's time to tell them." (R&D supervisor, Minnesota Mining and Manufacturing/3M Corp.) 7. "My Boss spent the entire weekend retyping a 25-page proposal that only needed corrections. She claims the disk I gave her was damaged and she couldn't edit it. The disk I gave her was write-protected." (CIO of Dell Computers) 8. Quote from the Boss: "Teamwork is a lot of people doing what I say." (Marketing executive, Citrix Corporation) 9. My sister passed away and her funeral was scheduled for Monday. When I told my boss, he said she died on purpose so that I would have to miss work on the busiest day of the year. He then asked if we could change her burial to Friday. He said, "That would be better for me." (Shipping executive, FTD Florists) 10. "We know that communication is a problem, but the company is not going to discuss it with the employees." (Switching supervisor, AT&T Long Lines Division) 11. We recently received a memo from senior management saying: "This is to inform you that a memo will be issued today regarding the memo mentioned above." (Microsoft, Legal Affairs Division) 12. One day my boss asked me to submit a status report to him concerning a project I was working on. I asked him if tomorrow would be soon enough. He said, "If I wanted it tomorrow, I would have waited until tomorrow to ask for it!" (New business manager, Hallmark Greeting Cards) 13. As director of communications, I was asked to prepare a memo reviewing our company's training programs and materials. In the body of the memo in one of the sentences I mentioned the "pedagogical approach" used by one of the training manuals. The day after I routed the memo to the executive committee, I was called into the HR director's office, and told that the executive vice president wanted me out of the building by lunch. When I asked why, I was told that she wouldn't stand for perverts (pedophiles?) working in her company. Finally, she showed me her copy of the memo, with her demand that I be fired – and the word "pedagogical" circled in red. The HR manager was fairly reasonable, and once he looked the word up in his dictionary and made a copy of the definition to send back to her, he told me not to worry. He would take care of it. Two days later, a memo to the entire staff came out directing us that no words, which could not be found in the local Sunday newspaper could be used in company memos. A month later, I resigned, and in accordance with company policy, I created my resignation memo by pasting words together from the Sunday paper. (Taco Bell Corporation)

×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

Terms of Service Confirmation Terms of Use Privacy Policy Guidelines We have placed cookies on your device to help make this website better. You can adjust your cookie settings, otherwise we'll assume you're okay to continue.