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Why do JWs have huge lunches / dinners after funerals?


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4 hours ago, SuzA said:

Since when has hospitality been a "worldly" custom?  

Since the disfellowshipping arrangement, necessary as it is ... became the exercise in sustained and clueless extremism of applied cruelty it is today.

"Worldly people", as a general rule, when a child is disobedient, do not cut off it's head ... figuratively speaking, and in a very "loving way" ... of course.

 

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Yes, customs are quite different in different countries. In Ireland weddings and funerals are usually accompanied by 5 days of very heavy drinking Irish whiskey. The difference between an Irish Wedding, and an Irish Funeral is .... (wait for it ...) .... one less drunk.

When I was visited by two elders because of my association with an adult child who no longer was professing to be a Witness and whose life choices meant she would have been disfellowshipped if only they could contact her, I asked, "When I am old and need help will you be over here taking care of me?  Because I know my daughter will." The subject was never brought up again.  And I'm still in good standing, but then my congregation elders have never been hardliners.   

Just because (as a general rule ...) prostitutes and murderers wear shoes ... does notmean that everyone that wears shoes are prostitutes and murderers. Although it would be imitative and suggestive to wear a brown shirt during the Nazi reign ... does not mean that today wearing a brown shirt indicates one is a Nazi.

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When I was visited by two elders because of my association with an adult child who no longer was professing to be a Witness and whose life choices meant she would have been disfellowshipped if only they could contact her, I asked, "When I am old and need help will you be over here taking care of me?  Because I know my daughter will."

The subject was never brought up again.  And I'm still in good standing, but then my congregation elders have never been hardliners. 

 

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1 hour ago, SuzA said:

Since when has hospitality been a "worldly" custom? 

We have two separate things Suza:

1. Hospitality in general sense and understanding

This one sort of behavior of humans is human like, and all groups of all kind show it, it is not characteristic of  specific group, atheist, religious or "worldly shape" people :)   

2. Hospitality to people who came to funeral

This is connected not only with mere hospitality people want to show to others, but is connected to folkloric, custom, beliefs, superstition that is in relation with death and dead. And here we have great variety of details in customs around the world. 

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Just now, SuzA said:

The subject was never brought up again.

Like your firm stand in front them. But keep in mind how they not insist on this issue because, from other side, teaching says how children must take care on old parents, that means in all kind of help, physically,  emotionally, and with money. As for spiritual help that would be primary task only for elders, especially because your daughter is ex JW, and by that, according to WT instruction  she must not, or better to say, You must not speak about Bible with her, nothing that is about so called spiritual matters. Sad, sad.   

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7 hours ago, Srecko Sostar said:

2. Hospitality to people who came to funeral

This is connected not only with mere hospitality people want to show to others, but is connected to folkloric, custom, beliefs, superstition that is in relation with death and dead. And here we have great variety of details in customs around the world. 

So far, you have not demonstrated in what way post-funeral hospitality amongst Witnesses is in any shape or form bound up in superstitious or pagan practices, or that it is a "worldly" practice.

"Worldly" weddings are also "connected to folkloric, custom, beliefs, superstition . . .   And here we have great variety of customs around the world."  We don't eschew weddings simply because some of the customs worldly people include originate in superstitious practices.  We omit what would be offensive to Jehovah.  Likewise with funerals and association thereafter.

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49 minutes ago, SuzA said:

So far, you have not demonstrated in what way post-funeral hospitality amongst Witnesses is in any shape or form bound up in superstitious or pagan practices, or that it is a "worldly" practice.

"Worldly" weddings are also "connected to folkloric, custom, beliefs, superstition . . .   And here we have great variety of customs around the world."  We don't eschew weddings simply because some of the customs worldly people include originate in superstitious practices.  We omit what would be offensive to Jehovah.  Likewise with funerals and association thereafter.

"When my grandmother died, they decided to hold a huge lunch at a restaurant. Same thing happened when a cousin died. I heard this is common for JW. Why?", by Nikole.

Merely my comment was on; "I heard this is common to JW". Inviting people to take food and drink in such circumstances is not JW invention. That is all what is matter here, as from my side of notice. In our country, preparing food and drink inside late person home with less or more quantity, or invite people to restaurant is common practice. Also some JW people doing the same in lesser or bigger scale.

I was many times on JW funeral, but only twice was (as recall)  in restaurant because people was invited me. One reason is they traveled from far away, from another town for funeral. So they need some refreshment before back home, or they were friends, or are little closer to family, not only bro/sis to that family. 

Well, hope that you will understand how there is no need, from me, to demonstrate what JW practice (that various from cong to cong and from country to country) on funeral customs are similar, same or not, to other, non JW people sorts and reasons for customs.

As for your mentioned of wedding. Symbols of ring, wedding (white) dress, cake (just to mention few) , which is normal for JW weddings have deep connection to paganism (what ever paganism means for modern day people)  or/and customs that are "worldly", not necessary bad.

1 hour ago, SuzA said:

We omit what would be offensive to Jehovah.

Ohhh, "offensive to JHVH". And that covers all answers, :)) and gives justification for doing or not doing something. Great!

In old time God give Law by which Israel man can be Master of slaves, to be in Bigamy relationship, have to Kill all enemy of True Worship, to Stone their non-obedient children, etc. And God blessed that Law, regulating peoples behavior, customs, practice and folkloric of Jew and non Jew who accept their religion, of God's Chosen People, under this Perfect and Everlasting Commands.

In modern time God said; You must Turn the other chick, Love your enemy, Have one Woman, No Slaves, ..... but you have to Shunning your children who are Witness no more( no phone calls), and not to say "simple Hello" to some ex JW on the street, etc.

 Standards of what is/are "offensive" and what is/are "pleasant"  to JHVH looks very strange. :))

 

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1 hour ago, Srecko Sostar said:

 

As for your mentioned of wedding. Symbols of ring, wedding (white) dress, cake (just to mention few) , which is normal for JW weddings have deep connection to paganism (what ever paganism means for modern day people)  or/and customs that are "worldly", not necessary bad.

Just because (as a general rule ...) prostitutes and murderers wear shoes ... does notmean that everyone that wears shoes are prostitutes and murderers.

Although it would be imitative and suggestive to wear a brown shirt during the Nazi reign ... does not mean that today wearing a brown shirt indicates one is a Nazi.

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A little supplement:

The terminology used by the WT corporation, which should to guide the reader, member in direction of a "correct" choice, uses terms such as; spiritually mature Christian, Christian life, non-Christian customs (meaning there must be also Christian customs, and this means in other words "JW customs"), worldly customs, pagan customs, and the like.

General rule by WT say; all that have pagan origin must be avoid and rejected, to not imitate or implement in JW life.

General rule by JW people say; all that not brake your conscience or Bible understanding you can do, but will be good if you ask elder for opinion and advice if you are not sure what WT literature said about. (of course some JW person  have understanding of same text in publication that is different or even opposite of some other JW member)

General rule by WT say; "worldly" way of living is not what is for Christian aka JW. So, JW must avoid all what is "worldly". To lie, kill, steal, looking woman, dirty words, drinking, be lazy, be fan or member of sport club, cheer for the soccer team, go to coffee with "worldly" aka non-JW colleague except if it is for Bible conversation  and other questionable acts.   

:))

 

 

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On 7/15/2018 at 3:38 PM, Srecko Sostar said:

To lie, kill, steal, looking woman, dirty words, drinking, be lazy, be fan or member of sport club, cheer for the soccer team, go to coffee with "worldly" aka non-JW colleague except if it is for Bible conversation  and other questionable acts.   

:))

It looks like you are getting hung up on specifics rather than understanding the spirit or principle behind the way a Christian should live.

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17 hours ago, Anna said:

It looks like you are getting hung up on specifics rather than understanding the spirit or principle behind the way a Christian should live.

Dear Anna do not "fight" me with "specifics", because elder's "Shepherd" book and other memos they received from GB as instructions for Christian Life and Ministry of/for members, are full of all sort of details and specifics. 

"Spirit or principles behind" ... this is also for long disguising with large possibility to end up, "hung up" in "specifics". :)))  because life of human is loaded, weighted with so much little things, details, particularities, specifics, orders, prohibitions, instructions, tips, advises, recommendations ...You see we, human, even have too much words for so many specifics to be able to "understanding the spirit and principle behind something" ::::))))  

Definition by English dictionary:

If you say that someone is hung up about a particular person or thing, you are criticizing them for thinking or worrying too much about that person or thing.

Don't worry about me Anna :)   

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On 7/8/2018 at 9:29 PM, Nicole said:

When my grandmother died, they decided to hold a huge lunch at a restaurant.

Same thing happened when a cousin died.

I heard this is common for JW. Why?

It usually depends, not just if the person is JW, but the culture of some people. For JWs in America can hold a small reception of members of their community and that of family members and friends who were very close to the deceased, while elsewhere, perhaps like in DR or Haiti, it is a very small get together in the home of someone very close to the deceased, no food no nothing, perhaps tea or coffee, but that is about it, while some of them literally have no form of reception at all. Elsewhere, like in some parts of Africa, as well as the EU some simply just bury the the dead and remain in the household of the one who lost their loved one and care for them until they feel better.

But it differs for some people. Outside of the realm of religion, there are some, crazy and perhaps, even morbid display of sending some off to be buried in Sheol, there is one particular trend I have noticed in the US that is someone haunting and disturbing.

But yes, usually depends on the customs of the people and the culture at times, so it is not something common, granted that JWs come from different backgrounds and racial groups with various cultures and practices that differ from each other, even though they are of the same faith community.

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You are right, Space Merchant ... funeral customs vary greatly!

When the need arose ... and it always did ... and before I knew better, and became against the practice on the basis of just basic human dignity and respect for life,  My Daughter and I would hold "funeral services", and ad-hoc "Burials at Sea", in our home, in the bathroom, for her pet goldfishes.

Especially valid is the fact that after flushing them, they did not eventually go to the sea ... but to the septic tank.

Later, at my insistence, a more dignified way of giving our dearly departed adopted family pet  gold fishes was instituted, befitting their status as members of our  family.

I tossed them over the fence.

 

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