James Thomas Rook Jr.

SCENARIO: You are at a packed Kingdom Hall on Memorial night, and ten minutes into the remembrance talk, six masked people with weapons enter the Kingdom Hall and begin shooting everyone they can, without any conversation. You are shot in the left side of your face and most of those teeth are gone. Before you know what is going on twelve Brothers and Sisters have been shot, screaming and panic ensues, and there is blood and bodies and brains all over, and the shooting continues. Would it be fitting for a Brother to use his handgun to return fire on the murderers to try and save his own life, or the lives of his Brothers and Sisters? Or, in PubSpeak ... "Would it be fitting for a Christian to keep a firearm, such as a handgun or a rifle, for protection against other humans?" ( July 2017 Watchtower ) This raises MANY Theocratic, moral, ethical, legal, and Societial policy questions ... all of which have REAL answers. What is the RIGHT thing for a responsible Christian to do?

Actually, the Professor's name is Dr. Bunsen Honeydew, and his "helper" with the orange hair is Beaker, whose speech is unintelligible, but who sings with Operatic quality. This is GREAT STUFF, by the way .. I intend to steal the picture, file off the serial number, and repaint it. . If you can find one for Poppin' Fresh, or TPT, that would be GREAT!

I would reply specifically, but I have not located any crayons ....

Well.... Tommy, I do have a Kermit the Frog muppet, as you can see ( actually, I have five of them ..) and if I can find some crayons, I will try to explain it to you.

Oh Tommy Tom Tom .... what part of the above sentence do you NOT UNDERSTAND? apparently it is the phrase : " ... AND SEE IF YOUR ARGUMENT STILL MAKES SENSE" And now, for a musical interlude, Kermit the Frog, direct from his ancestral swamp in Leland Mississippi, sings and dedicates a song to JTR's three children, all Jehovah's Witnesses, and serving whole souled, of which fact I am very proud .....

Tom, Tom Tommy Tom Tom: I hate to point this out once again, for perhaps the sixth time... but your reading comprehension skills need a LOT of work. I was talking about ONE thing... how to tell if ones' arguments are valid, or are off on a tangent, up the creek without a paddle, or sauntering down Booger's Woods to the trivia pit of intellectual analysis. NO MORE! What I said was: The substitution was a TOOL to analyze a point of view, to see if it was valid .... no more. Many other tools might be just as useful ...or not. Good detectives can take the skimpiest clues and develop a strong cohesive picture of events ... bad detectives can take an explicit picture, and remark.. "nice colors". I do agree with you about the nature of the problem may be overblown ... like the prostitute that complained to the police that she had been raped, but only realized it when the check bounced. Money and the search for deep pockets make for VERY flexible memories ... but Justice we get from Jehovah God ... EVERYTHING else is due process. That does NOT mean we slow down in the relentless, never ending search for Justice. AND DEMAND it of ourselves ... and others.

Less than full disclosure CREATES hate .. as innocence is assumed to be real conspiracys if it is not crystal clear, based on facts. A culture of everything being "Eyes Only" secrets breeds distrust. Only the very young, the very naive, and the very new, trust their Congregational Elders anymore to tell them what is REALLY going on ....

. As an ex-skydiver, and ex-motorcycle rider, and several other things that might have gotten me killed ... I am a firm believer in COMPLETE FREEDOM OF CHOICE. You have probably never thought of it this way, but SO IS JEHOVAH GOD A FIRM BELIEVER IN COMPLETE FREEDOM OF CHOICE.! When was the last time an angel blocked anything you wanted to do? (Answer for the timid - NEVER). However, everything a human does, small or large, has consequences, epitomized by the phrase "Don't do the crime, if you can't do the time.". Jehovah wants us to have a WONDERFUL life ... and that is why there are SO MANY restrictions on what we CAN do, and what we should NOT do. There is a very simple test to see if what you are practicing is the TRUE RELIGION, and it is this .... DO THE "COMMANDS FROM GOD" HAVE THE BEST LONG TERM INTERESTS OF HUMANITY AS THEIR END RESULT. This is of course, a matter of opinion, based on how smart and perceptive you are, and what filters you see the world through, and your accumulated experience and education, and many other things that make You, YOU. When you consider how Jehovah told the Israelites how to dress... quite specifically, it made them the laughing-stock of the surrounding nations .... skirts with pomegranates and bells, ( rolls eyes..) ... BUT ... it made them quite distinctively SEPARATE in a sometimes painfully (for those wanting universal admiration...) way. This served as a protection for them, to the extent that they understood WHY God made them dress "like clowns", and they avoided the evils that being part of the nations had as NATURAL consequences of their behaviors. I realize that Jehovah God cares NOTHING about whether or not we celebrate ones' birthday ... and that disfellowshipping one for doing so is an evil travesty, BUT, I still think the IDEA is a very good idea, because it contributes to a culture of separateness from the "world", which has many, many benefits. I do not celebrate Birthdays because it is a very good idea ... in my considered and educated opinion about cultures, and what motivates people. However, I would explain this to someone in great detail, but NOT require it of them ... as coincidence is NOT necessarily causality. Yeah, people were beheaded in the Bible, at the same time someone celebrated a birthday ... but prostitutes wearing shoes does NOT make shoe wearers prostitutes, nor the fact that in their later years Earnest Borgnine and Elizabeth Taylor never having had their picture taken together makes them the same person ... although that is an interesting coincidence. When you walk into an AIDS hospital charity ward and see the emaciated lost souls dying in pain and anguish ( A mental picture of actor Rock Hudson's appearance as he died of AIDS comes to mind...) , it is OBVIOUS there is no "gayiety" there. Christmas, on the other hand, is obviously an amalgam contaminated Catholic religious ceremony that Protestants in the first 70 years of America did not celebrate ( Christ-Mass), but the Protestant Churches were closed and the Catholics were having a 12 day party, and they eventually caved in, and as they say the rest is HISTORY. Remember ... we can restrict ourselves in any way we see fit ... we can live in a cage if we want to... to keep us in ..or keep other people OUT .... but Jehovah has made it VERY clear through Scripture what he cares about, and where there is silence .. it is NOT because he forgot to mention something. Some things we care about to the very marrow of our bones, and it will always, Always, ALWAYS be who we are ... but when Scripture is silent on any particular subject ... we can make a best educated GUESS about how related principles should be applied ... but that is ALL it is... a GUESS. Jehovah God will judge us if we are messengers of righteousness, or carriers of tyranny ... but even before that the Universe will judge us, and the Universe is impartial, and doesn't care about us at all. Remember ... we can restrict ourselves in any way we see fit ... we can live in a cage if we want to... to keep us in ..or keep other people OUT .... but Jehovah has made it VERY clear through Scripture what he cares about, and where there is silence ... ... it is NOT because he forgot to mention something. There is a word for ideas and actions that Jehovah God has expressed no opinion or command about ...... FREEDOM! .

..reminds me of when Stalin gave a speech before the Soviet Politburo .... everyone ALWAYS stood up and clapped, and clapped...and clapped, and clapped. The first ones to stop clapping would disappear mysteriously. Is obeying your educated conscience about birthday celebrations the hill you want to die on? Think about it ...

ONLY ... because of being SHAMED into doing it .... AGAINST normal corporate policy ... and resisted the whole way, and at EVERY step along the way ... for 50 years.

I was at the grocery store several years ago, when I was having a rough time, and because I had four Siberian Huskies, I would buy their dog food first, and sometimes shared it with them as there was more month than my money .. I learned to dislike dog food, and my grocery cart was behind a rotund woman in the checkout line who had three carts piled high with much better quality and variety of foods than I could afford, back when I was making a comparatively LOT of money ... and I wondered as I watched her check out ... how can she AFFORD such nice foods, and so many of them, when my cart had cheap oatmeal which I ate as a cold cereal, and Ol' Roy, dry dog food. OF COURSE, she paid for it with what appeared to be a credit card with an American flag on it, which I had never seen before, but which I later learned was the successor to actual food stamps... an EBT card. I am all for charity, but I do resent having some bleeding Liberal ( can I say the "L" word in polite company?) rob money from me by force of law to feed Mrs. Graf Zepplin. .

I remember when Westinghouse made many things... from ICBMs ( Intercontinental Ballistic Missiles) carrying multiple warhead hydrogen bombs, to Hallmark greeting cards .... when you cared enough to send the very best.

.... for pedophilia, substitute the phrase "FIRST DEGREE MURDER", and see if your argument still makes sense. If it does, you are OK. If it does NOT .. there are flaws in the moral high ground attempted ... by requiring a HIGHER moral high ground of others. Go ahead, be a sport.... try it out! . .

I always had problems when I went to face-to-face interviews when I asked the recruiter to hold my beer ....

TTH: Little known is the fact that cats shipped to Boise, Idaho by bus are re-routed to the "Home" Facility for felines where they watch mickey mouse cartoons from a supine, feline position until the beers kick in, and then become "Solyent Fur". The beer of course is "SPUD BEER" (... The Beer that Made Boise Famous" ...), and is made from Idaho potatoes. SPUD BEER is the same beer used in "nervous hospitals" by Carl Childers school of lawn mower repair graduates, after a grueling day of electroshock therapy ... for "...those who cannot tell the difference!" (tm). As the human patients are dragged back to their rooms, strapped to a stretcher, they have been known to raise a hand in the imitation of a paw, and exclaim ' SOLYENT FUR IS FELINES!".

Much better ...

Whew! This subject was discussed at GREAT LENGTH here on the Archive several years ago, but like the "Beard" Issue, seems to resurface like a Japanese Periscope outside Pearl Harbor from time to time. I wish I knew how to access threads from 5 years or so, ago, but alas and alack, I do not. The best I can do is post a similar thread I COULD find, talking about how customs and traditions we practice now should be viewed in relationship to past histories. It has been bouncing around the Internet for at least a decade I know about, and I am afraid its authorship has been lost. It DEFINITELY is in the same style and logic used by the Society's Publications. from the time the Magazines had "Questions from Readers", which were actually set-up rhetorical questions, in most cases. " Is it appropriate for a Christian to own a cat, in light of their past pagan religious affiliation and the medical information that is now coming to light? -J.R., U.S.A. It would be misleading to answer this question with either a simple ‘Yes’ or a ‘No.’ The Scriptural answer of necessity must be a ‘qualified’ one, and it is easy to see why. Many conscientious ones among Jehovah’s people today have wondered if Christians should own cats in view of their somewhat sordid symbolic history and the many health risks associated therewith. While we would not wish to state an opinion on what must remain a matter of personal preference, what is acceptable to one person may, although unintentionally, stumble another. This can become a life-or-death issue since to move the steps of a brother away from the path of Christ’s ransom sacrifice is tantamount to ‘putting a millstone around the neck and being thrown into the sea.’ -Matt. 18:6. Clearly, in a matter where our eternal salvation is involved, the mature Christian will not pursue a purely selfish course based on his own personal choices, but will adopt a congregational viewpoint as scripturally prescribed. First, let us consider what most scholars agree is the etymology (word derivation) for the English term ‘cat’. When analyzed with the Latin ‘felis cattus domesticus’, the original Koine Greek is ‘cur.io huma bes-tia’, means ‘a contemporary housecat with all of its beastly identifying characteristics and behavior.’ A faithful servant of Jehovah would quickly notice that the nature of a cat is so marked as being ‘beastly’. The Bible makes clear reference to this condition when describing parts of Satan’s organizations, both past and present. For instance, consider the fearsome ‘beasts’ as described in the book of Daniel or the ‘scarlet colored wild beast’ in Rev. 17:3. The demons entered the swine when rebuked by Jesus showing the potential harm and malevolent spirit control to which a Christian may be potentially exposed. Lest we forget the story of Nebuchadnezzar and the condition of God’s enemy when being humbled by Jehovah, the student of God’s Holy word would ask – is it by accident that the Bible in the book of Daniel describes his experience as a ‘beast’ of the field? Hardly so! Clearly, the Bible – by using this kind of terminology – shows beyond any reasonable doubt that the basic nature of cats, while created perfect by God, has become evil or ‘beastlike’ since the fall of Adam six thousand years ago, and more probably, since the Great Flood of Noah’s time (c2350 B.C.E.). This is a development of the condition borne by the ‘Original Serpent’, the ‘Great Dragon’ Lucifer himself. (Gen. 3:1) Indeed, modern studies of classification of cats, while not necessarily being reliable as they may be based on the discredited ‘theory’ of evolution, strongly associate felines with serpents (despite some external differences in physiology and morphology, which confuse those who do not study these matters deeply). There are numerous reasons why a loyal dedicated servant of God should use his Bible-trained conscience to arrive at a proper understanding of why cats are not advisable as pets or companions for Christians. Consider, then, the following facts: It was a common practice in ancient Egypt to worship or idolize cats as ‘gods’. Indeed, after death many cats were mummified, venerated and sacrifices were made to them. As Christians we observe not only the Mosaic Law, but also the ‘necessary things,’ identified by the Apostles at Jerusalem, to include the following edict: ‘(1) Abstain from sacrifices to idols’. We are to ‘guard ourselves from idols’ and ‘worship no other gods’. Such feline influence could lead to idolatry and thereby ‘grieve Jehovah’s Spirit’ with tragic consequences. May we never take for granted Jehovah’s wise and generous counsel brought to you by your spiritual brothers in the pages of this magazine! The Bible does not say that cats were not present at Herod’s birthday party when John the Baptist was beheaded. History shows that cats were most likely present at this tragic party that Jehovah did not approve of. Clearly then, as loyal Christians, why would we even want to associate with animals that are without a doubt of such bad influence, remembering how true are the Bible’s words: ‘Bad associations spoil useful habits’! -1 Cor. 15:33. Some have exposed themselves to possible spiritual contamination in this way. To invite cats in our house is to toy with disaster. Can one deny that the chance exists that the same grave consequences could visit your home that fell upon John? Clearly, God disapproved of this ‘birthday’ party. Should we not then disapprove (without showing any malicious intent, only Godly hatred) of cats the way the scriptures recommend? Throughout history, particularly in the middle ages and reaching its climax in the Salem Witch trials of the seventeenth century, cats were recognized by the forces of Christendom as familiars and carriers if not direct incarnates of demons. While, in common with most beliefs of the empire of false religion, no evidence has ever been found to support this, the symbolism of cats still remain within the public psyche, and involvement with them reflects poorly on God’s footstools and footstep followers. Many pagan faiths still conclude that black cats bring ill-luck and possess demonic forces, while we have shown that it is, instead, all cats that share these perceived characteristics. Since cats were associated with the devil, could we as faithful and dedicated servants of God therefore contaminate ourselves by exposure to a ‘living symbol’ of satanic incarnation? How would this reflect on God’s name and that of his visible, earthly organization? Would we want to be linked with a symbol of Satan, the ‘god of this beastly system of things’? The careful student of the Bible will acknowledge that nowhere within it is any species (‘kind’) of cat referred to in favorable terms. In fact, was it not lions of the first century who the Devil used to devour faithful Christians? Jehovah Himself ‘stopped up the mouths of the lions’ (Dan. 6:22) in Daniel’s day. True, the small housecats of today are not quite lions, but being of the same accursed animal family used by God’s enemies on numerous occasions throughout history, would it be wise or prudent to own one? In addition, by owing any type of cat (feline), would we not give an appearance of condoning their evil deeds throughout recorded Bible and secular history? The Bible makes clear that God’s people are ‘no part of this world’ (John 15:19) and that we are ‘not to share in the sins of others’, consume lecithin within nutritive cereal or ‘candy’ bars, or do other things directly banned in Holy Scripture. The demeanor of a cat is seen by many honest-hearted observers as reflecting some supernatural, unnatural proclivity towards malice or evil. And, it is a well-known fact that cats are impossible to tame, teach or raise in the truth. The cat has a rebellious, independent spirit. While the animal itself may be unaware of this tragic condition, it serves only its true master – Satan, the Devil. The scriptures clearly indicate that neither Abraham, Isaac, Jacob, faithful Job, the Apostles, Jesus nor any other human bearing God’s favor himself owned a cat. Should we simply assume that this is a mere coincidence? Surely not! This was most likely because they didn’t want to be like the pagan contemporaries of their respective days who showed no regard for how God feels about owning a cat. In harmony with the pattern set by the faithful prophets and worthies of old, it would therefore not be fitting for the true Christian today to own a cat. But, the most modern scientific evidence also supports the Biblical view. Contrary to popular beliefs among worldly people, cats are unhygienic animals. Recently the Centers for Disease Control (CDC) announced that ‘Cats .. can shed Salmonella in their feces, which can spread the bacterial infection to humans’. Salmonella (salmonella typhimurium) creates a condition of ‘week-long diarrhea, abdominal cramps and in some instances, hospitalization.’ Would we be showing the proper respect to our life, Creator and to our ‘neighbor’ by exposing ourselves and others to this potentially deadly disease? Would this be seen by your brothers, and by those showing an interest in God’s word, as giving a good witness? Additionally, cats practice many unclean habits not befitting a Christian household: coughing up fur balls, licking inappropriate body areas on their own bodies (inappropriate handling) and even, in some cases, on the bodies of their human owners (wrongful motive?), urination on the floor, vocal and blatant promiscuity (unknown to any other species, all others being endowed with Godly chastity and decorum) and widespread sexual misconduct without the benefit or sanctity of holy matrimony, even orgiastic practices, substance abuse of catnip (an intoxicating herb) which produces conditions akin to drunkenness, stealing food from the table, producing ungodly sounds, excessive playfulness and the employment of devices not known to have been used by Jesus, the conducting of its unholy business under the cover of the darkness of night, and so on. What sort of example does this give our young ones endeavoring to faithfully serve Jehovah? The Bible clearly shows that ‘neither fornicators .. nor thieves .. nor drunkards .. nor revilers .. will inherit the Kingdom.’ (1 Cor. 6:9-11) It must not be forgotten that the feline is a killer. It eats mice and their kind, which is forbidden to Christians and their pets (Lev. 11:29, Isa. 66:17). But, far more serious, is the matter of the wanton consumption of the undrained corpses of the victims of this nocturnal creature; eating bodies filled with God’s sacred blood is not a matter to be trifled with (Gen. 9:3,4; Lev. 3:17; Deut. 12:16,23,24; Acts 15:20,28,29). In an earlier article in The Watchtower, we have shown that it would be improper for a Christian to permit a veterinarian to give blood transfusions to his pet, for animal feed known to contain blood to be served to a pet or a farm animal under one’s jurisdiction, or to employ any fertilizer that is known to have blood in it (w64 2/15 127-8). By allowing one’s cat to roam uncontrolled, the Christian becomes a willing party to, even a conspirator within, this serious breach of God’s law of life. In addition, the Apostle Paul admonishes us to ‘quit mixing in company .. not even eating with such an unclean [one].’ -1 Cor. 5:9-11; Mark 2:13-17. Although Paul was speaking primarily about Christians who fell into sin, there is no reason to conclude that this inspired Biblical principle cannot be applied to association with cats. Uncleanness in any form is condemned by Jehovah and the fact that the Apostle Paul made no distinction when it came to associating with housecats proves beyond a doubt to the right-thinking worshiper of Jehovah that loyal Christians must avoid all association with all sources of uncleanness. This would logically include animals that either harbor these tendencies or indulge in such practices. Of course, while demonstrating one’s obedience to God’s lovingly-issued commandments, one must do so without any spirit of meanness or ill-will towards these Satanic creatures, though they represent God’s enemies. Instead, mature Christians ‘feel a loathing’ toward those, including cats, who have voluntarily or otherwise made themselves God’s enemies, and they leave it to Jehovah to execute vengeance. -Job 13:16; Romans 12:19; 2 John 9,10. Are we not grateful for this insight on God’s viewpoint regarding such matters? True worshipers follow closely God’s mandates on cleanness to their eternal benefit! Sister N.K. from Virginia, U.S.A. tells us that since getting rid of her cat, she has not had to be preoccupied with cleaning the litter box or wasting valuable time better spent pursuing kingdom interests with the burden of purchasing cat food. This has allowed her to become a full-time pioneer; she finds that it is now easier to meet her allotted hours in field service. Godwin, a brother from Sierra Leone, puts it this way: ‘I’m so grateful that God’s organization is kept clean! It has freed me from the burden of owning a cat and all the spiritual pitfalls and financial commitments that go with it. I hope all the brothers will realize how the Devil subtly uses cats to corrupt and distract us from the disciple-making work.’ (Matt. 24:14). What fine examples of faithfulness! The question of how to dispose of one’s unwanted cat is a serious matter. Would it be proper to hand over such a creature of Satan to a person of the world? We see no immediate problem with this, as such a person is already immersed in the wicked ways of this system of things, and so a beastly companion would be a fitting one indeed. They could accompany eachother on the road to destruction, through ignoring God’s generous gift of life proffered via His spirit-begotten earthly organization. It is on this same sound principle that a Christian doctor would have no reason to deny blood transfusions to a worldly patient. If, on the other hand, one took the view stated on page 128 of the abovementioned Watchtower, and consider that the pet or any other animal is under the ultimate jurisdiction of a Christian, who therefore bears responsibilities (Eccl. 12:13,14; Jas. 4:17, 1 Pet. 3:21) that are essentially parental in nature. The cat is a dependant. In harmony with this, surely it is the parent’s obligation before God to ensure the feline pet is treated as one would an unruly child who repeatedly refused to obey its parents, or of one who committed apostasy. Unfortunately in the case of human offspring, one is limited by the laws of the higher authorities of the land as to what scripturally-ordained punishment may be meted out, as compliance with both sets of laws is necessary in such areas. This may not always be the case in terms of felines, where the fact that we are not living in theocratic countries may not prove such an impediment to what God requires of us, as manmade law may not afford such unmerited protection to cats as it does to humans. God’s soldiers would be mindful to apply, where the case merited it and local custom did not prohibit it, the principle of Deut. 21:18-21 which states that: ‘In case a man happens to have a [dependant] who is stubborn and rebellious, he not listening to the voice of his [guardian], and they have corrected him but he will not listen to them, his [guardian] must also take hold of him and bring him out to the older men of his city and to the gate of his place, and they must say to the older men of his city, ‘This [dependant] of ours is stubborn and rebellious; he is not listening to our voice, being a glutton and a drunkard.’ Then all the men of his city must pelt him with stones, and he must die.’ The mature follower of Jehovah will do well to be reminded of God’s advice in page 503 of The Watchtower of November 15, 1952 where it was held that ‘In the case where a father or mother or son or daughter is disfellowshiped, how should such person be treated by members of the family in their family relationship? .. We are not living today among theocratic nations where such members of our fleshly family relationship could be exterminated for apostasy from God and his theocratic organization, as was possible and was ordered in the nation of Israel in the wilderness of Sinai and in the land of Palestine. ‘Thou shalt surely kill him; thy hand shall be first upon him to put him to death, and afterwards the hand of all the people. And thou shalt stone him to death with stones, because he hath sought to draw thee away from Jehovah thy God, .. And all Israel shall hear, and fear, and shall do no more any such wickedness as this is in the midst of thee.’ -Deut. 13:6-11, AS.’ Of course, we can take no legal responsibility for anything which results from your voluntary application of your interpretation of such Biblical principles as you may believe that we have brought to your attention. As loyal followers of Jehovah’s thinking on this matter, we can rejoice in the fact that in the new system, the incoming theocracy and World Order, the ‘lion will lie down with the lamb’ -Isa. 11:6-7. Yes, when Satan is finally abyssed, the ‘beastly’ nature of felines will be forever abolished, and they will be fit companions for humans on Paradise Earth! But until that rapidly-approaching time, God will reward all of our efforts to maintain integrity by loyally submitting to the leading of his spirit expressed through the loving guidance of the ‘faithful and discreet slave’. -Matt. 24:45-47 " I have found that it reads MUCH better .... after four beers. Much better ... .

You live and learn ...... or you don't live long. Don't let the sound of your own wheels ... make you crazy.

TTH: I am impressed with your essay .... the writing style and the content, and the insight. JTR

I believe that even William Shatner, after a 20 year period of being unemployed as James T. Kirk, became T.J. Hooker.

There is ONE exception to this ... if the language is bent into a pretzel and you redefine the word. An example of this is if you changed the definition of a cow to match that of a horse. Assuredly they have MANY similar features, but entering a cow in the Kentucky Derby would make you a certified loser, and would be udderly ridiculous. Betting on a cow, even with a Trifecta, is entertaining, but probability zero. . .

This is very impressive advice ... sound... common sense.. practical. There are MANY scriptures that say the same sorts of things, but written to an audience whose thinking patterns were quite different, 2,000 to 5,000 years ago. Dave Barry commented on this as follows: " Contrary to what many women believe, it's fairly easy to develop along-term, stable, intimate, and mutually fulfilling relationship with a guy. Of course this guy has to be a Labrador retriever. With human guys, it's extremely difficult. This is because guys don't really grasp what women mean by the term relationship. Let's say a guy named Roger is attracted to a woman named Elaine. He asks her out to a movie; she accepts; they have a pretty good time. A few nights later he asks her out to dinner, and again they enjoy themselves. They continue to see each other regularly, and after a while neither one of them is seeing anybody else. And then, one evening when they're driving home, a thought occurs to Elaine, and, without really thinking, she says it aloud: "Do you realize that, as of tonight, we've been seeing each other for exactly six months?" And then there is silence in the car. To Elaine, it seems like a veryloud silence. She thinks to herself: Geez, I wonder if it bothers him that I said that. Maybe he's been feeling confined by our relationship; maybe he thinks I'm trying to push him into some kind of obligation that he doesn't want, or isn't sure of. And Roger is thinking: Gosh. Six months. And Elaine is thinking: But, hey, I'm not so sure I want this kind of relationship, either. Sometimes I wish I had a little more space, so I'd have time to think about whether I really want us to keep going the way we are, moving steadily toward... I mean, where are we going? Are we just going to keep seeing each other at this level of intimacy? Are we heading toward marriage? Toward children? Toward a lifetime together? Am I ready for that level of commitment? Do I really even know this person? And Roger is thinking:... so that means it was... let's see...February when we started going out, which was right after I had the car at the dealer's, which means... lemme check the odometer... Whoa! I am way over due for an oil change here. And Elaine is thinking: He's upset. I can see it on his face. Maybe I'm reading this completely wrong. Maybe he wants more from our relationship, more intimacy, more commitment; maybe he has sensed -- even before I sensed it -- that I was feeling some reservations. Yes, I bet that's it. That's why he's so reluctant to say anything about his own feelings. He's afraid of being rejected. And Roger is thinking: And I'm gonna have them look at the transmission again. I don't care what those morons say, it's still not shifting right. And they better not try to blame it on the cold weather this time. What cold weather? It's 87 degrees out, and this thing is shifting like a garbage truck, and I paid those incompetent thieves $600. COMMUNICATIONS GAP And Elaine is thinking: He's angry. And I don't blame him. I'd be angry, too. God, I feel so guilty, putting him through this, but I can't help the way I feel. I'm just not sure. And Roger is thinking: They'll probably say it's only a 90-day warranty. That's exactly what they're gonna say, the scumballs. And Elaine is thinking: Maybe I'm just too idealistic, waiting for a knight to come riding up on his white horse, when I'm sitting right next to a perfectly good person, a person I enjoy being with, a person I truly do care about, a person who seems to truly care about me. A person who is in pain because of my school girl romantic fantasy. And Roger is thinking: Warranty? They want a warranty? I'll give them a warranty. I'll take their warranty and stick it right up their... "Roger," Elaine says aloud. "What?" says Roger, startled. "Please don't torture yourself like this," she says, her eyes beginning to brim with tears. "Maybe I should never have... Oh God, I feel so..." (She breaks down, sobbing.) "What?" says Roger. "I'm such a fool," Elaine sobs. "I mean, I know there's no knight. I really know that. It's silly. There's no knight, and there's no horse." "There's no horse?" says Roger. "You think I'm a fool, don't you?" Elaine says. "No!" says Roger, glad to finally know the correct answer. "It's just that... It's that I... I need some time," Elaine says. (There is a 15-second pause while Roger, thinking as fast as he can,tries to come up with a safe response. Finally he comes up with one tha the thinks might work.) "Yes," he says. A BEFUDDLED BEAU (Elaine, deeply moved, touches his hand.) "Oh, Roger, do you really feel that way?" she says. "What way?" says Roger. "That way about time," says Elaine. "Oh," says Roger. "Yes." (Elaine turns to face him and gazes deeply into his eyes, causing him to become very nervous about what she might say next, especially if it involves a horse. At last she speaks.) "Thank you, Roger," she says. "Thank you," says Roger. Then he takes her home, and she lies on her bed, a conflicted, tortured soul, and weeps until dawn, whereas when Roger gets back to his place, he opens a bag of Doritos, turns on the TV, and immediately becomes deeply involved in a rerun of a tennis match between two Czechoslovakians he never heard of. A tiny voice in the far recesses of his mind tells him that something major was going on back there in the car, but he is pretty sure there is no way he would ever understand what, and so he figures it's better if he doesn't think about it. (This is also Roger's policy regarding world hunger.) IT'S ANALYSIS TIME The next day Elaine will call her closest friend, or perhaps two of them, and they will talk about this situation for six straight hours. In painstaking detail, they will analyze everything she said and every thing he said, going over it time and time again, exploring every word, expression,and gesture for nuances of meaning, considering every possible ramification. They will continue to discuss this subject, off and on, for weeks, maybe months, never reaching any definite conclusions, but never getting bored with it, either. Meanwhile, Roger, while playing racquetball one day with a mutual friend of his and Elaine's, will pause just before serving, frown, and say: "Norm, did Elaine ever own a horse?" ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- We're not talking about different wavelengths here. We're talking about different planets, in completely different solar systems. Elaine cannot communicate meaningfully with Roger about their relationship anymore than she can meaningfully play chess with a duck. Because the sum total of Roger's thinking on this particular topic is as follows: Huh? But the point I'm trying to make is that, if you're a woman, and you want to have a successful relationship with a guy, the No. 1 tip to remember is: 1. Never assume that the guy understands that you and he have a relationship. The guy will not realize this on his own. You have to plant the idea in his brain by constantly making subtle references to it in your everyday conversation, such as: -- "Roger, would you mind passing me a Sweet 'n' Low, in as much as we have a relationship?" -- "Wake up, Roger! There's a prowler in the den and we have a relationship! You and I do, I mean." -- "Good News, Roger! The gynecologist says we're going to have our fourth child, which will serve as yet another indication that we have arelationship!" -- "Roger, inasmuch as this plane is crashing and we probably have only about a minute to live, I want you to know that we've had a wonderful 53 years of marriage together, which clearly constitutes a relationship." Never let up, women. Pound away relentlessly at this concept, and eventually it will start to penetrate the guy's brain. Some day he might even start thinking about it on his own. He'll be talking with some other guys about women, and, out of the blue, he'll say, "Elaine and I, we have, ummm... We have, ahhh... We... We have this thing." And he will sincerely mean it. The next relationship-enhancement tip is: 2. Do not expect the guy to make a hasty commitment. By "hasty," I mean, "within your lifetime." Guys are extremely reluctant to make commitments. This is because they never feel ready. "I'm sorry," guys are always telling women, "but I'm just not ready to make a commitment." Guys are in a permanent state of nonreadiness. If guys were turkey breasts, you could put them in a 350-degree oven on July Fourth, and they still wouldn't be done in time for Thanksgiving. "

On a related note, just translated from Russian Time Capsule Archives by the FBI ..... WASHINGTON - May 16, 2017 – Associated Press Unsealing and translating the purloined copy the old Soviet Era Politburo Archive Time Capsule after nearly 50 years, the Federal Bureau of Investigation declassified former director J. Edgar Hoover’s extensive missing file on the WTB&TS Bethel family, sources confirmed Monday. “These 3,600 documents reveal that the New York Bethel “Family” were of significant interest to J. Edgar Hoover during his extra-judicial intelligence-gathering campaigns,” said Andrew Jewett, an American History professor at Harvard, adding that from 1964-66 the FBI chief had obtained numerous tapes of the “Family” and instructed federal agents to transcribe all conversations of the One Headquarters “According to multiple letters to officials, Hoover suspected that Minister family patriarch Anthony Morris Jr, also known as “Tight Pants Tony”, AKA Cartoon ‘Grandpa’, was a cartoonist and Vietnam War Veteran working in his dungeon little back room laboratory to develop very cute animated child cartoon robots to use on American soldiers and civilians.” He was also convinced they were using the Watchtower at the Brooklyn, NY Bethel Mansion to send coded messages to either the Soviets or radical dissident religious groups. Several documents also reportedly showed that Hoover had directed FBI agents to follow the Bethel Family and to recruit “Pioneer” niece Marilyn Twoshoes as an informant. Massive amounts of incriminating “extremist” information were known to have been collected, and put in the time capsule, with instructions not to be opened until 2016. .

Anna: To be fair .. I did not make the "Cows with Guns" cartoon, or write the lyrics.... I just thought it was cute as a box of puppies!.

. Do not confuse “duty” with what other people expect of you; they are utterly different. Duty is a debt you owe yourself to fulfill obligations you have assumed voluntarily. Paying that debt can entail anything from years of patient work to instant willingness to die. Difficult it may be, but the reward is self-respect. But there is no reward at all for doing what other people expect of you, and to do so is not merely difficult, but impossible. It is easier to deal with a footpad than it is with the leech who wants “just a few minutes of your time, please--this won’t take long.” Time is your total capital, and the minutes of your life are painfully few. If you allow yourself to fall into the vice of agreeing to such requests, they quickly snowball to the point where these parasites will use up 100 percent of your time--and squawk for more! So learn to say No--and to be rude about it when necessary. Otherwise you will not have time to carry out your duty, or to do your own work, and certainly no time for love and happiness. The termites will nibble away your life and leave none of it for you. (This rule does not mean that you must not do a favor for a friend, or even a stranger. But let the choice be yours. Don’t do it because it is “expected” of you.) Beware of altruism. It is based on self-deception, the root of all evil. If tempted by something that feels “altruistic” examine your motives and root out that self-deception. Then, if you still want to do it, wallow in it! You live and learn or you don’t live long. (Aphorisms I use as a guide, from the Notebooks of Lazarus Long, by Robert A. Heinlein.) .