TrueTomHarley

Finally this layman has learned, through this post, why the NWT alone, save for a few obscure translations, gets Psalm 22:16 right. 'Church' Bibles translate the Septuagint and thus repeat a translating error at that verse. Correct rendering is 'like a lion,' not 'pierced.' A Lutheran evangelical accosts Rabbi Tovia Singer, so as to 'save' him, but he doesn't have his ducks lined up. The rabbi pounces on the Psalm 22:16 mistranslation and has it for supper.

I haven't completely rounded the learning curve here. Trying to delete a duplicated post, but all I can do is to edit it.

For the longest time I confused him with a David (I think) Slutz, with whom I was assigned blueberry picking detail out of Wallkill in perhaps 1976. Someone donated blueberries- pick all you can, and Bethel quickly assembled a crew of 6. I and one other because we were visiting and had nothing else to do; David and 3 others because they had just graduated from Gilead and had nothing else to do. Even now I sometimes think it was Splane, not Slutz, but I'm probably mistaken. We spent several delicious days trading stories, experiences and plenty of riddles. The one that sticks is when he told of his volatile student offering his first comment. He braced himself but it was not enough: "I want to thank JEHOVAH GOD for sending his servant DAVID SLUTZ to my door to bring me THE WORD OF TRUTH!!" David melted into the floor.

Sometimes I think it is pointless to wait for an explanation. It is the TV ad: if you're a murderer, you murder people - it's what you do.

Tom Harley loves self-deprecating humor. He also likes the kind of humor where you make fun of yourself. He loves hyperbole. He also likes wild exaggeration to make a point. He is good at zany storytelling. He is good at explaining Jehovah’s Witnesses. He is not good at anything else. He has combined these three skills to write “Tom Irregardless and Me,” a romping and riotous defense of Jehovah’s Witnesses and their place in today’s world. He knows them well, having been one forever. www.smashwords.com Search Tom Harley. 30% free preview. Then we'll talk.

JW Insider, it is from the family's collection. It is from Ithaca, Cornell University

Perhaps he will continue jogging. It's hard to fight a megaphone. But sometimes it works against them. People say 'why is he making trouble for the Jehovah's? They're nice people.'

The very gods do battle in Tom Irregardless and Me: the god of education, the god of qualifications, the god of multi-tasking, the god of football, the god of the adversarial judicial system, the god of the sex offender registry, the god of scientific rigor, the god of blood transfusions. Take cover while they thrash it out! Will any be left standing? Who cares? They're all morons anyway. Download 'Tom Irregardless and Me.' 30% free preview. Then we'll talk.

What do Jehovah’s Witnesses have against college? Why is their average income the lowest of all faiths? What is their policy regarding child sexual abuse ? Where are they with homophobia? Were the New World Translation writers qualified? Tom Irregardless and Me takes on these questions, and more. www.smashwords.com Search: Tom Harley temp coupon LF95H makes it free.

She was a big, disheveled, super-friendly and warm, black woman sitting on her wheeled walker outside Wegmans who said Hi! as I walked by. I stopped. Can I ask you a question? she said. You see, she had to catch her bus – that one across the parking lot - she’d missed one and she was freezing, but the dog had ate her money or something and she needed $3. How do I know you’re on the up and up? I asked. She replied she guessed I didn’t but grab her hand and just see feel cold she is. ‘Well, I can spare $3,’ I thought and handed it over. I also gave her a card. ‘Just so you know,’ I said. ‘Do with it what you will on your own time.’ On seeing the card, she lit up. Do I know so-and-so? What about what’s-his-face? How is this one doing and that one and a third one. She was raised a Witness and went to the Hall (the same Hall I had gone to, though not at the same time) But she had not took hold. I went to prison for a few years then I got hit by a car and then I went into a coma. They were going to pull the plug on me but someone said ‘no.’ She related all this in the most happy tone you can imagine, as though describing her day at the amusement park. Her appearance suggested that everything she said was true. She had every ‘right’ to be bitter and sullen but she wasn’t – a huge plus in my book. I’ve seen white people (and black) carry on and on with far less hardship. ‘I’m surprised that Wegmans didn’t chase her away,’ my daughter said. But had they tried it on my watch, I would have chased them away. As we chatted, a woman left the store and handed her three more dollars. ‘I said I would once I got change.’ ‘See? Now you can go home and come again tomorrow,’ I told her brightly. I picked up some items inside and met her again just outside the door. A man was giving her money. ‘Yeah, they get awfully good at that,’ my daughter said, who does her ministry in the city and isn’t put out by such goings on at all. After all, it must be put in the context of a worldwide financial system which is itself a scam. ‘That’s why I love you, Dad,’ she said. ‘You never judge.’ Without the slightest encouragement on my part, she had brightly said: “Maybe you could stop by my place and take me to meetings again!” And maybe I can! Or maybe I’ll pass her story along to the aunt she mentioned, who would know the story better than anyone. My daughter told me of an elder (an old one) who had run across a homeless man who said he was disfellowshipped. The brother went farther than most and cupped the back of the guy’s head – you never know for sure how clean they are and where they’ve been sleeping. ‘Why don’t you come home? We’re waiting for you.’ The fellow did come home, got his act together, and is active with a congregation today. Look, don’t try to con us. Jehovah’s Witnesses are more street-savvy than most. We work in all areas door-to-door, after all. We weren’t born yesterday. But we will make eye contact, and in the event we do give money, we will not insist upon letting go of it before you touch it.

‘A pack of lies! I hate it!’ - Victor Vomidog ‘I knew you when you were small in your own eyes. Now you are small in everyone’s eyes.’ - Bill Ding ‘Thoroughly Tolerable!’ - Brittany Brexit ‘I loved it! All chapters, irregardless!’ - Tom Irregardless ‘I couldn’t put it down – he’d left some sort of ‘sticky tape’ or something on it.’ - Wayne Whitepebble

‘A pack of lies! I hate it!’ - Victor Vomidog ‘I knew you when you were small in your own eyes. Now you are small in everyone’s eyes.’ - Bill Ding ‘Thoroughly Tolerable!’ - Brittany Brexit ‘I loved it! All chapters, irregardless!’ - Tom Irregardless ‘I couldn’t put it down – he’d left some sort of ‘sticky tape’ or something on it.’ - Wayne Whitepebble Download it here.

Brothers worldwide have flooded me with requests to report on how Mr. Claus is doing on his Bible study. Or at least you never know when they may start. I am happy to say he has been doing very well. Ever since that recent Watchtower on beards he is enthused. He drinks in information during each study – he’s a very eager student. And he loves the meetings. It’s even a little annoying. If the speaker makes even the lamest attempt at humor – say, he makes some crack about the microphone being too high or too short for him because the previous speaker was a giant or a pygmy, Mr. Claus will burst out with an earth-shaking ‘HO! HO! HO!’ which is beginning to get on everyone’s nerves. In fact, he can be so disruptive that the elders asked him (and me – keep him company) to sit in the second auditorium. As we entered that room, he said to me that the elders were ‘bad.’ He’s very judgmental that way, always trying to separate the good from the bad. Lately I have become concerned. He canceled his study for tonight. A ‘prior engagement,’ he said. Of course, I nosed around until I discovered what he intended to do. And I didn’t like it! Surely, it’s a violation of Bible principles! Of course, a new student progresses at his own rate or not at all – it’s completely up to him. But I will help him see how he can better please God. “Of course, you do what you like. But you are making such good progress, and I know you want to move forward, so I will tell you things that haven’t yet come up in your study, and you can incorporate them as you wish,” I began. “So, you really are going to fly throughout the whole world in a sleigh pulled by animals that don’t normally fly, through frigid weather, and slide down millions of chimneys (at your age and girth!) with presents in the middle of the night? That is clearly an extreme sport and disrespects the precious gift of life!” ************************** Read ‘Tom Irregardless and Me.’ 30% free preview Starting with Prince, a fierce and frolicking defense of Jehovah’s Witnesses. A riotous romp through their way of life. “We have become a theatrical spectacle in the world, and to angels and to men,” the Bible verse says. That being the case, let’s give them some theater! Let’s skewer the liars who slander the Christ! Let’s pull down the house on the axis lords! Let the seed-pickers unite!

Thirty years ago I studied the Bible with a refugee from Czechoslovakia who adopted me like a grandson. I used ‘The Truth that Leads to Eternal Life’ in English, she in Czech. Several times she mentioned that Jehovah’s Witnesses in her country were the most crude and backward (she said ‘ignorant’) of people. Several times she mentioned that her book was a terrible translation. What was amazing was that it was a translation at all. Our people at the time were denied education. The regime saw to it they were fired from their jobs. If they subsisted, they did so because they had picked up shoe repair skills or somesuch. (photo: Valarietarico.com) Everyone else found it too inconvenient to not be able to buy nor sell without the mark of the beast. Jehovah’s Witnesses refused to give in (photo: valerietarico.com)

One fine Christmas Day, my wife was out driving. Our three or four year old daughter was in her car seat. "Mom, let's stop at Wegmans so I can get a free cookie." It's a child-friendly policy Wegmans then had. (do they still?) Imagine - a free cookie just for showing up! "Honey, we can't, Wegmans is closed today." Wegmans closed? How is that possible? "Because today is Christmas." My wife kept driving along and thought of all the other things she meant to do that day. Presently from the back seat came a low ominous epithet: "I HATE Christmas!" the child grumbled.

Whenever my wife tells me to jump, I do it immediately, though not always with joy.

Nuclear war was once the only way possible to envision end of life on earth. Now there are many

We have some nice-looking people

Jehovah continued speaking to Ahaz: "Ask for a sign from Jehovah your God; it may be as deep as the Grave or as high as the sky." But Ahaz said: "I will not ask, nor will I put Jehovah to the test." Isaiah then said: "Listen, please, O house of David. Is it not enough that you try the patience of men? Must you also try the patience of God?"...Isaiah 7:10-13 My wife thought the best way to picture this passage is to think of a petulant child trying the patience of a parent: "This is SO tiring! Can't you, for once, just do as you are told?" photo: Gary Thomasen

Our equivalent of the Big Bang

Don't trust them. They do nothing but make trouble. 'Here Tom, here's where you can buy wheels with snowtires mounted for your Fit! Isn't that a good idea? Just think how safe the missus will feel!' Well, sure...anything for the missus...I bought them. Who would think the stupid things require a non-standard socket to attach the lug nuts....not standard, not metric...something else entirely! I never knew there was such a thing. And if you can get your head around that, what about the special 'hub adapters' required for each wheel?! Of course, they supply all those things, but I've yet to remember them when taking my car to the shop for seasonal tire change. Who can put up with nonsense like this? It's my own fault...when the package arrived and said "Free Aggravation Included" I should have been tipped off. It's not aggravation to Brother Bugatti. Such exasperating picayune stuff is the elixir of life to him! He thrives on it, like a hurricane gathering strength over warm water! And this year changing the tires...someone had lost some (not all) of the hub adapters. Me? The tire shop? Brother Bugatti? Who knows? Ah, well, if I must, I'll just buy more. Yeah...good luck on that! I don't remember where I ordered the things from. The likely source Brother Bugatti suggests is a no-go. "Don't you keep your paperwork?" he asks...he has paperwork for every car wash he's driven through since he was 16! No...not after two years...I don't. Ah...wait. Here's the box from Gorilla Automotive. Yes...the wheel company does carry that brand. No, they won't sell them to me separate without proof that I bought them there...liability issues! Today I'll call Gorilla directly. I just hope the CEO isn't Harambe, who took a leave of absence three months ago and hasn't been heard from since. I've never owned mounted snows in my life until Brother Bugatti came along. Nor even snows after seventies...All weather-tires work just fine. What was I thinking? Mounted snows on all four tires are safer, says Brother Bugatti. Well, so are tank treads! photo: Lothar Spurzem Read 'Tom Irregardless and Me' - 30% free preview: www.smashwords.com. search: Tom Harley

Dear Tom @ LoveLine: That obnoxious brother with the 60 queens and concubines can't take a hint. He's getting very forward with me. Recently, he quoted me his favorite scripture: "How beautiful you are and how pleasant you are, O beloved girl, above all exquisite delights! Your stature is like a palm tree, and your breasts are like date clusters. I said, "I will climb the palm tree To take hold of its stalks of fruit....Song of Solomon 7:6-8 What should I do? Dear Person: You need to quote him your favorite scripture, from Song of Georgia Satellite 2:4-6 "That's when she told me a story 'bout free milk and a cow And said, "No huggee, no kissee until I get a wedding vow" My honey, my baby, don't put my love upon no shelf She said, "Don't hand me no lines and keep your hands to yourself"

Dear Tom @ LoveLine: There's this obnoxious brother at the Kingdom Hall making advances toward me. I want him to drop dead, but my parents are pushing him because he has a lot of dough. I think he's sincere but I don't know. He has 60 wives and 80 concubines. They take up the entire 2nd auditorium. But he has said many endearing things to me, like: "Only one is my dove, my flawless one." This pulls at my heartstrings. What should I do? [There may be 60 queens and 80 concubines And young women without number. But only one is my dove, my flawless one.....Ca 6:8-9] ...... Dear Person: You forgot the "young women without number." Tell the guy to take a hike. He's used that line on each of the 60 queens and 80 concubines. photo: Vincent Brassinne

I agree. Photo is too sensual. Use this one instead. photo: Jason Meredith

Dear Tom @ LoveLine: There's this obnoxious brother at the Kingdom Hall making advances toward me. I want him to drop dead, but my parents are pushing him because he has a lot of dough. I think he's sincere but I don't know. He has 60 wives and 80 concubines. They take up the entire 2nd auditorium. But he has said many endearing things to me, like: "Only one is my dove, my flawless one." This pulls at my heartstrings. What should I do? [There may be 60 queens and 80 concubines And young women without number. But only one is my dove, my flawless one.....Ca 6:8-9] ...... Dear Person: You forgot the "young women without number." Tell the guy to take a hike. He's used that line on each of the 60 queens and 80 concubines. photo: Vincent Brassinne