Candace Conti Child Molestation Case

[TrueTomHarley]

1 hour ago, Noble Berean said:

I have written letters to the Society in the past about my concerns, but I have never received any word back from them.

I have written 3 or 4 in the course of 40 years. Each one was answered.

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

Just now, TrueTomHarley said:

I have written 3 or 4 in the course of 40 years. Each one was answered.

All complimentary letters I assume?

[TrueTomHarley]

1 hour ago, James Thomas Rook Jr. said:

All complimentary letters I assume?

They were respectful, but they did weigh in on some topics that have been discussed in this forum. None were written simply to offer compliments.

Of course I DID NOT TELL THEM WHAT JERKS THEY WERE and how they MUST COME AROUND to my way of thinking, seeing that it WAS AND IS INDISPUTABLY RIGHT!!!!

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

That is probably a good idea, considering how many times you have actually BEEN right ... in our little verbal tete-a-tetes.

BAZINGA!

[SuziQ1513]

I have to admit I didn't read all of the info that Anna and Ann plus others have submitted, but the article (submitted above) about what a child molester looks like :

 http://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pages/tell_others_the_facts.html#georges_story    

rang true with my step-father (of 50+years - not a JW, married, good income, white) who abused my daughter and youngest son.  Back in the late 70s my daughter was about 3yo, I caught him picking her up by putting one hand between her legs and the other under her armpit.  I immediately went to him, firmly told him not to do that anymore.  My daughter who is now in her 40s claims she can still remember the feeling. 18 yrs later, I relied on my parents for childcare since I had become a single mother and couldn't afford daycare when my son was small.   (Both parents were retired at this time.) The abuse began at about 4-5yrs old thru teen yrs.   The abuser was so clever, I had no idea for which I have felt deeply guilty.  We would sit at family meals (the 4 of us) and the abuser could act like nothing was wrong.  My son was weighed down with threats and so remained silent.  I thought he was just moody.  I didn't find out until my son was 23yrs old when he finally told me.  By this time his abuser was dead.  My son has left the Truth since he claims he is now Gay.  What the abuser takes freely for selfish reasons has a huge cost to others.  They are clever and cunning.   Good people just don't think the same way perverts do.  You just don't want to accuse someone of such serious crime.  Education is important and it's unfortunate we can't trust anyone.   Children (under 10yo) are now abusing younger children and the government can't do a darn thing about it because of their age.  This whole thing is such a mess.  They need to castrate the B______ds (crude, I know).  

I have a RV with an ex-member of the FLDS polygamist group (their leader is in jail for life for sex abuse) and I fear doing an internet search will put them off from learning more from the Bible.   I have stopped donating for the ww work because so much money is going to these settlements.  I donate to the KH and if they send money to the HQ, that's their business.  I feel I should write to the HQ and let them know, maybe that will get them to be more transparent.  I came across a quote from the Dali Lama the other day:  "A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity."  I would send that but I think they would disregard it given the source.  I pray to Jehovah that he will direct Jesus to handle this matter quickly and with great wisdom.   I pray for the victims and for protection for all children, JW or not.  May we all maintain our joy and peace in these troubled times.  Love to all.  

 

[TrueTomHarley]

8 hours ago, SuziQ1513 said:

The abuser was so clever, I had no idea for which I have felt deeply guilty.  We would sit at family meals (the 4 of us) and the abuser could act like nothing was wrong.  My son was weighed down with threats and so remained silent.

Thank you for this.

A person can only act upon what they know and have been trained to identify. If only the detailed instruction given at the 'Don't Give Up' Regional Convention had been given many years ago, for the obvious first line of defense in this regard is for parents to recognize potential dangers. But nobody did back then, not I, not you, not anyone who had not been specifically educated - and that was almost nobody. Feeling guilt is inherent with any parent contemplating difficulties their children have faced - who but the most insensitive has not been there? - but hopefully it fades knowing one did all one could have done with what knowledge one had at the time, allowing for human imperfection. Ideally, the children themselves come to know this in time.

 

8 hours ago, SuziQ1513 said:

My son has left the Truth since he claims he is now Gay.

If there is one thing modern times have taught us, it is how amazingly fluid sexuality is. I don't think anything is permanent unless one determinedly reinforces it. In the entertainment media are plenty of people like Ani DiFranco. She identified as lesbian early on and gained countless fans on that account. She betrayed and outraged them all by 'growing out of it' and getting married, now calling herself 'bi-sexual.' So we could all be, most likely, depending upon many factors, chief among them the environment we are immersed in.

[TrueTomHarley]

9 hours ago, SuziQ1513 said:

 I donate to the KH and if they send money to the HQ, that's their business.

As food for thought, Suzie, if you feel guilty, we should not assume that they do not - brothers holding positions of authority. This is true even though they are not accused of anything personally, unlike the clergy of some religions, but of merely 'bungling' the reporting, not conforming to the world's rapid about-face on this issue - years ago, authorities would send a molester right back into the home, assuming rehabilitation was possible and was preferable to breaking up a family.

The GB is between a rock and a hard place. Where elders investigate, especially in cases of abuse 20 or more years ago, they may find, for whatever reason, that the family head does not want to go public. Perhaps all involved were family or extended family, and the head does not feel that calling in the cops is the way to go. Where it was not legally required, it was not for the elders to steamroller him and go over his head. That's why (2017) our brother pleaded with authorities to make it a requirement everywhere. That way, no one is tarred and feathered for not going 'beyond the law.'

Even if the family head has been conditioned not to report - an allegation provable only by anecdote - the type of evidence that is discarded everywhere else - a constant refrain of apostates, that does not alter the fact that family wishes cannot be disregarded by a theocratic organization, unless there is a specific law to the contrary.

Leadership by apology is in vogue today. How much of it our people should do is arguable - I don't go there. It's not my place.  Suffice it to say, however, that among determined enemies, a apology only stimulates demands for more apologies, and the more apologies never lead to forgiveness, but only demands for resignation. Thus, it plays into the enemy's greater goal of halting the proclamation of the kingdom message. This is not to say that everyone concerned over child sexual abuse has that goal. But many do, and they have used the situation to advance their own ends.

[SuziQ1513]

11 hours ago, TrueTomHarley said:

years ago, authorities would send a molester right back into the home, assuming rehabilitation was possible and was preferable to breaking up a family.

Yes, I agree.   20 years ago the victim was most likely re-victimized by the police (who had no training in this area) and if it went to court by the defense attorneys.  Girls/Women (and Boys/Men also but not to the same degree)  assaulted, raped, etc frequently kept silent because of this revictimization and shame they felt.  The two-witness rule doesn't help since perpetrators usually target one person so it's one word against one person.  The brothers are not really trained to deal with such a serious matter, much like mental disorders.    I do think a victim should be able to have someone in a supportive role with them when they meet with the Elders.  Tamar from the Bible is my heroine, she taught me it's a man's world and women just have to be savvy.   Speaking in generalities,  the greatest threat to a woman's well being is a man (I'm not referring to all men but in general for those of you who want to pounce on me).  

[Anna]

21 hours ago, SuziQ1513 said:

I have to admit I didn't read all of the info that Anna and Ann plus others have submitted, but the article (submitted above) about what a child molester looks like :

 http://www.childmolestationprevention.org/pages/tell_others_the_facts.html#georges_story    

rang true with my step-father (of 50+years - not a JW, married, good income, white) who abused my daughter and youngest son.  Back in the late 70s my daughter was about 3yo, I caught him picking her up by putting one hand between her legs and the other under her armpit.  I immediately went to him, firmly told him not to do that anymore.  My daughter who is now in her 40s claims she can still remember the feeling. 18 yrs later, I relied on my parents for childcare since I had become a single mother and couldn't afford daycare when my son was small.   (Both parents were retired at this time.) The abuse began at about 4-5yrs old thru teen yrs.   The abuser was so clever, I had no idea for which I have felt deeply guilty.  We would sit at family meals (the 4 of us) and the abuser could act like nothing was wrong.  My son was weighed down with threats and so remained silent.  I thought he was just moody.  I didn't find out until my son was 23yrs old when he finally told me.  By this time his abuser was dead.  My son has left the Truth since he claims he is now Gay.  What the abuser takes freely for selfish reasons has a huge cost to others.  They are clever and cunning.   Good people just don't think the same way perverts do.  You just don't want to accuse someone of such serious crime.  Education is important and it's unfortunate we can't trust anyone.   Children (under 10yo) are now abusing younger children and the government can't do a darn thing about it because of their age.  This whole thing is such a mess.  They need to castrate the B______ds (crude, I know).  

I have a RV with an ex-member of the FLDS polygamist group (their leader is in jail for life for sex abuse) and I fear doing an internet search will put them off from learning more from the Bible.   I have stopped donating for the ww work because so much money is going to these settlements.  I donate to the KH and if they send money to the HQ, that's their business.  I feel I should write to the HQ and let them know, maybe that will get them to be more transparent.  I came across a quote from the Dali Lama the other day:  "A lack of transparency results in distrust and a deep sense of insecurity."  I would send that but I think they would disregard it given the source.  I pray to Jehovah that he will direct Jesus to handle this matter quickly and with great wisdom.   I pray for the victims and for protection for all children, JW or not.  May we all maintain our joy and peace in these troubled times.  Love to all.  

 

Suzi, thank you for sharing your story.

21 hours ago, SuziQ1513 said:

  Good people just don't think the same way perverts do.  You just don't want to accuse someone of such serious crime.

This is the crux of the problem I think, that is why I posted that article you mention. It wasn't to excuse the perpetrators of course, but to excuse those who naively believed a child was safe with them (the perpetrator). As you say, good people just don't think the way perverts do, and that was my argument with regard to Candace Conti, that the elders (despite knowing about one incidence with his step daughter) just did not believe that the perpetrator (Kendrick) would ever do anything like that again. He did. He molested Candace. Then after Candace, he molested his new wife's grandchild. The elders had no idea about any of this. They only found out when Candace confronted them with it years later.....

You also had no idea about your step father, you blame yourself for it, but as you see, you are a good person, who just couldn't imagine that anyone could be capable of anything like that....

The adage should be: "once a child molester, always a child molester". HOWEVER, this is not entirely compatible with scripture, and with the idea that people can change. This is the attitude we Witnesses try to take. BUT, at the same time it needs to be recognized that pedophilia is a real clinical case, almost a disease, that has to be fought like an addiction to alcohol. Is a cure possible? Not entirely, as an alcoholic has to abstain for the rest of his life otherwise he will revert. The same with a pedophile, he cannot ever be trusted around children, until in the new system.

[Anna]

9 minutes ago, SuziQ1513 said:

I do think a victim should be able to have someone in a supportive role with them when they meet with the Elders.

This is the case now. I will try and dig up the latest child protection policies of Jehovah's Witnesses if you haven't seen them yet.

[SuziQ1513]

4 minutes ago, Anna said:

The adage should be: "once a child molester, always a child molester".

I so agree with that statement.   I remember an interview with a child molester and he remarked about how naive people are.  He referred to commercials with bare bottom children or barely clad children and stated how erotic that was to him.  Sickening for sure but their brains are wired to see children and women differently, like sexual prey.  I toured a new prison in my area (as it related to my work) and as we were being shown the facility to house prisoners, the officer noted the area for child molesters was separate to protect them from other prisoners.  It was an area with round tables and benches, he stated how they would sit around and "talk" about what they had done but it was stated with much disgust.  Medical, social experts don't know what to do with them.   I have a rather gross but I think effective treatment (ready...)  castrate them and then graft their manhood to their ear.   Best warning system ever in my opinion and maybe a deterrent.   (sorry if I offended, but I really think that would work).   I think its unrealistic to think the Elders can keep an eye on them, no way, they are too clever as noted in the Candace case.  

[SuziQ1513]

18 minutes ago, Anna said:

This is the case now. I will try and dig up the latest child protection policies of Jehovah's Witnesses if you haven't seen them yet.

Oh that would be awesome!   I would guess this was something positive that came out of the ARC interrogations.  I remember the "judge" asking that question as to why this couldn't be supported and there was no real reason.  That's a Tamar "ring, a rod and the cloak" victory!