College

[JW Insider]

I was cleaning out old papers today and came across a final exam. I'll post a picture in a minute.

 

[JW Insider]

Just in case this is hard to read, I'm sure I can find it online, or else I'll OCR it so that the text is readable.

[JW Insider]

Found a close version of it:

Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions. Time limit -- 4 hours. Begin immediately.

HISTORY: Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to the present day, concentrating especially but not exclusively, on its social, political,economic, religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise and specific.

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

BIOLOGY: create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if this form of life had developed 500 million year earlier, with special attention to its probable effect on the English parliamentary system. Prove your thesis.

MUSIC: Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum. You will find a piano under your seat.

PSYCHOLOGY: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional stability, degree of adjustment and repressed frustrations of each of the following: Alexander of Aphrodisias, Ramses II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammurabi. Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to translate.

SOCIOLOGY: Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.

MANAGEMENT SCIENCE: Define management. Define Science. How do they relate?

COMPUTER SCIENCE: create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming and 1130 CPU supporting 50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm; design the communications interface and all necessary control programs.

ENGINEERING: The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed in a box on your desk. You will also find and instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In ten minutes a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel appropriate. Be prepared to justify your decision.

ECONOMICS: Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following areas: cubism, the donatist controversy, the wave theory of light. Outline a method for preventing the effects. Criticize this method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.

POLITICAL SCIENCE: There is a red phone on the desk beside you. Start World War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects, if any.

EPISTEMOLOGY: Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your position.

...

PHILOSOPHY: Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance. Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.

EXTRA CREDIT: Define the universe; give three examples.

http://www.mit.edu/people/dmredish/wwwMLRF/links/Humor/The_Exam.html

[Pudgy]

This is nuts! This is crazy! Who do you think we are…… Elon Musk?

[Amidstheroses]

MEDICINE: You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze and a bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until your work has been inspected. You have fifteen minutes.

                       _{What?!  Do you think we are suicidal maniacs?}

PUBLIC SPEAKING: 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.

If you had only allowed either Ancient Greek or Latin, my daughter could have come up with something great… (professional author and college degree in Classics, Greek tract, but earning a living as a stock broker for Fidelity Investments. Knows several types of Greek and Latin.

Knows, but does not obey, Jehovah 💔

[Melinda Mills]

What is the subject the person is being examined on?

 

[Amidstheroses]

Now you are taking on my role - missing the joke!  

It is a list of impossible and absurd tasks designed to make you guffaw!  

[Arauna]

I received this joke today from my sister in Afrikaans - I hope it translates ok. 

Peter passed his driver's license and said to his father that he would like to have his own car.  His father said: "fine",  if you push up all your school marks from a symbol C to an average of B; read the bible daily; and have a haircut.

A few months later his son comes back and says that he had pushed up his school marks and read the bible daily.  So his dad said: what about the haircut? 

Peter started talking about his bible studies and mentioned all the Bible characters who had long hair: Samson, Absalom, Moses, John the Baptist and said that he is just about sure the disciples of Jesus also had long hair.....  so could he now have the car?

The father replied:  Did you notice in your bible studies that all of them walked where they wanted to go?🤣

 

[Anna]

7 hours ago, JW Insider said:

I was cleaning out old papers today and came across a final exam. I'll post a picture in a minute.

 

Sounds like the exams we used to have to take (at least it seemed like it 😄). There were no multiple choice questions, you really had to know your subject in order to be able to write about it.

[Arauna]

9 hours ago, Anna said:

you really had to know your subject in order to be able to write about it.

Yes - one had to write long essays about each subject..... you could not fluff through an exam. 

[Pudgy]

The best test that I ever saw was a large machine about the size of a refrigerator, that had a slot in the front, and the label above the slot said “insert $100 here”

 

If ignorance is bliss …. We should all be a lot happier!