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Jack Ryan

I found a lost chapter from the "My Book of Bible Stories..."

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Jack Ryan -
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2 Kings 2:23-25 One day Elisha, Elijah's bitch, was walking to Bethel (not the one in New York). Some smart-ass kids decide to jokingly call him bald, which, would stand to reason, he was. So what does a spiritually mature man like Elisha do? He curses the children in the name of Jeholoahbah . Jeholoahbah decides it fitting that these children die, so he blesses Elijah's petty request and has two she-bears "[tear] 42 of the children to pieces". Elisha just sloughs this off and makes on his merry way to Mount Carmel (wasn't he headed to Bethel? Sounds like Elisha has ADD). The moral of the story kids is that you should respect your ELDERS, or Jeholoahbah may murder you for something as trivial as calling someone bald. Thank you oh merciful God Jeholoahbah.


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On 1/23/2019 at 2:10 PM, Matthew9969 said:

That book gave me nightmares as a child.

How? Even without the book you can read all that stuff in the Bible. Ever heard about the one of the cocbunine who wasn't true? Yep. Another thing that you didn't see is the guy is mocking God and Elisha. 


Hebrew Text

Old Testament 

2 Kings 2:23-25

23 He went up from there to Bethʹel. As he was going along the way, some young boys came out from the city and began to jeer at him, and they kept saying to him: “Go up, you baldhead! Go up, you baldhead!” 24 Finally he turned around and looked at them and cursed them in the name of Jehovah. Then two she-bears came out of the forest and tore 42 of the children to pieces. 25 He kept going from there to Mount Carʹmel, and from there he returned to Sa·marʹi·a.

Come on, Matt. You should have seen that coming when he cited the verse.

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