True Tom Kidnaps the Librarian!!!

[TrueTomHarley]

3 hours ago, James Thomas Rook Jr. said:

Make some WANTED posters offering a $1000 reward for a

copy of your book ... this will make people WANT your book.

Staple the posters to telephone poles around Rochester ..

Did that long ago. Sold three, and I have a clean-up bill from the phone company.

 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

I always give advice that will work .... I don't often mention the consequences.

[TrueTomHarley]

OH NO!!!

That old hag @The Librarian is getting Stockholm Syndrome!! When I entered to remove her breakfast tray of donuts, I saw she had written a post in her journal:

"How humiliating when those stuffy brothers counseled me - ME! - about my idea for a Watchtower centerfold. I would have made a splendid one - liven up that dull magazine!  I was not always what I am now. I did not always split bikini seams, and, donning my horn-rimmed librarian glasses - well....bookbags would have burst for all the subscription orders received.

"Decades and decades of toil with dullards with their noses stuck in a Bible at Bethel! Oh, the wasted humanity!  Only TrueTom valued me for my real worth, for my body. He has not forgotten. He knows there is still so much more to me than this loathsome small town librarian gig overseeing Duck Dynasty videos for country bumpkins. He is my RESCUER!!!!!!!

No lady, no!! Back off!! I am happily married to the drop dead gorgeous, traffic-stopping, Bible publication-devouring Mrs. Harley. Whatever you think we once had was long ago! I just want a little ransom money, that's all - and all the tightwads at the WorldMedia center want pioneer rates!

 

 

[TrueTomHarley]

Look, this may have been a mistake.

Will you take $1000. for her, @admin?

She's eating me out of house and home. She cleaned out my liquor cabinet. She ran up a $400 dental bill. And she's coming down with Stockholm syndrome, batting her eyes at me constantly.

Yeccttthhh!

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

TTH:

I also recycle old jokes and material.

I  tell the old jokes to newer generations ( about 40 years ), and they think I am SO CLEVER .. but all I am doing is recycling.  I do not disabuse them of their opinions ... I need all the help I can get.

" "The Ransom of Red Chief" is a 1910 short story by O. Henry first published in The Saturday Evening Post. It follows two men who kidnap and attempt to ransom a wealthy Alabaman's son; eventually, the men are driven crazy by the boy's spoiled and hyperactive behavior, and end up having to pay the boy's father to take him back.

The story and its main idea have become a part of popular culture, with many children's television programs using a version of the story as one of their episodes. The tale is a light-hearted example of the ultimate in "poetic justice" and fortuitous intervention for the public good: the crooks had intended to use the ransom money to fund an even larger and much more elaborate scam that would likely have caused widespread monetary damage to the local populace, and so having their plans "foiled in their infancy" by Red Chief's shrewd father saves countless other honest folks from financial ruin. It has also been often used as a classic example of two ultimate comic ironies—a supposed "hostage" actually liking his abductors and enjoying being captured, and his captors getting their just deserts by having the tables turned on them, and being compelled to pay to be rid of him."

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Ransom_of_Red_Chief

 

 

 

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

On 8/3/2017 at 0:24 PM, TrueTomHarley said:

To tell you the truth, he or she or it is so flabby it is hard to tell.

I have secured a photo of The Librarian taking a break from the cart witnessing work ... and I agree, TTH.

[TrueTomHarley]

She has put on a few pounds since then