The Truth and the Introvert

[The Librarian]

It was once said by a well-meaning circuit overseer at an assembly; “You can’t be an introvert in the truth”. More accurately the statement should have been; “It’s more difficult for the introvert in the truth”. Why is that the case? Well let’s first find out a little about the Introvert.

Do you know publishers who need to spend time alone every day? Publishers who love quiet conversations about feelings or ideas. Publishers that can give good talks at congregation meetings, but seem awkward when it comes to socialising and reluctant to participate during the meetings? They may appear to growl, grunt or wince when accosted with pleasantries by publishers who are just trying to be nice? If so, then you know publishers who are Introverted.

New Look

It’s time for a new look at introversion. It may come as a surprise to you that introverts are a legitimate personality type. Introverts comprise between 10-30% of the population. The problem is that their self image is defined almost exclusively by that other 70% (or more) of extroverts who don’t understand them and think they are wrong because they are different.

This is like saying a person is wrong because they are black. Racism in the truth, unlike the world hardly exists, but the area of introversion could be called one of the last frontiers of prejudice.

And don’t think it’s a choice to be this way, it’s all in the brain, literally. Researchers have established a positive correlation between alpha waves generated in the frontal lobes of the human brain and personality traits that characterise introverts or extroverts. Introverts have more acetylcholine, a chemical that enhances “long-term memory, the ability to stay calm and alert, and perceptual learning.” They also have increased activity in the frontal lobe, which has been linked to high-level problem solving skills, long-term planning, and a facility with language.

Misconceptions

The Introvert is not simply a shy person. They are not necessarily depressed and they are not social outcasts, although it may appear this way to the extroverts who need ongoing social contact to be healthy and happy. Introversion is not a pathological condition; it is not an abnormal response to the world. It is simply a personality trait found in a smaller percentage of the total population. Introversion is not shyness or a lack of social skills. It’s temperament, hard wired in ones genetic code, and cannot be altered.

Differences

Introverts are different from extroverts and this difference is very difficult for the extrovert to understand because they do not operate in the same way. As they do not understand it, many continually try to ‘help’ the introvert become more social, more gregarious, more outgoing, and have more fun, all, of course, from the extroverts point-of-view. As an example I know of one introvert who used to love going to parties, they used to plant themselves in an unobtrusive place where they could get a good view of the room, and with drink in hand they spent the evening 'people watching’ and were more than happy in doing so. That is until the continue barrage from extroverts to get up, have a dance, enjoy yourself, became too much to cope with.

In essence the terms Introvert and it’s antonym extrovert can be summarised by the source of our energy. Extroverts get their energy from the outer world and feel drained when they are by themselves too long. Introverts get their energy from within and lose energy quickly when having to deal with a lot of people. To illustrate; extroverts are like solar cell batteries they need to be in the sun to get charged up, introverts are more like rechargeable batteries, they need to be by themselves to restore their energy, to enable them to go back out into the world of people.

Two statements sum up one of the main differences between the extrovert and the Introvert.“If you don’t know what an extrovert is thinking, you haven’t listened”. “If you don’t know what an introvert is thinking, you haven’t asked.” Introverts tend to mentally rehearse what they are thinking. When they have it all worked out in their mind, then they might tell you. It is not that they want to conceal their thoughts. It just doesn’t occur to them to say them out loud. That is why it is wise to ask. Silence does not necessarily mean consent. Never presume you know what an introvert is thinking, or you know what they want.

Participation

Participation or commenting at meetings has for decades been seen as a good sign of spiritual progress. A means of sharing an expression of our faith. A means to encourage others. That of course has not changed. What needs to change however is our perception of those who do not readily avail themselves of this avenue.

Ask the teacher of any Introvert attending school and they will say the same; “Does not participate much in class”. Does that mean that they are not a good student? Far from it, in fact in most cases they are usually better as they excel in listening and reading.

As one student put it: “Receiving a grade for class participation has always been a great source of anxiety for me, since I am rarely the person in the class who speaks the most, and sometimes I am the person who speaks the least. I watch other students who speak often and I am frustrated by the knowledge that they are being rewarded for the quantity of their participation while I am being punished.” Introverted learners tend to participate less in class, since they prefer to process ideas by thinking to themselves rather than by speaking to others. The difficulty with this style of learning is that it does not fit well with the traditional concept of participation by commenting at meetings. The fact that lack of participation is looked down upon adds to the frustration of an Introvert. When others try to encourage an introvert to comment their discomfort usually increases due to the extra pressure. One of the best compliments a publisher was given was that although they didn’t comment often at the meetings, when they did, they always said something meaningful. Unfortunately, this advantage often seem undervalued in the congregation.

In the same way that the introverted makes the effort to participate during a meeting, extroverted publishers must make the effort to refrain at times from participating just to fill the silence. Introverted publishers need space in which to comment, and if the conductor provides this space, rather than taking the first hand they see, it will encourage them to continue to make the effort to participate. Bear in mind the conductor should not use that space with any phrase along the lines of, “Who hasn’t answered yet?”, as that will add further pressure and anxiety.

As has been proved in the school classroom, participation should be encouraged rather than required. The use of participation at the meetings is a valid and important instructional technique. However, what is valuable and beneficial to some, is not necessarily so to others. Forcing highly apprehensive, ethnically and socially divergent, or skill deficient people to participate is harmful. It will increase apprehension and reduce self-esteem. Thus, at the meetings participation should be encouraged but never required from those that are quiet. Try to remember that introverts often cannot relax unless they are alone with a teacher or in a very small class, which is why introverts were more inclined to comment on a book study level (when small groups met in private homes).

The reluctance to participate has nothing to do with preparation or lack of it, in fact the opposite is most likely true. Knowing the material is likely to keep the introvert from participating as they dislike redundancy. As one introvert said, “The only thing worse than talking about something twice is thinking something I’ve already thought”. They often do not feel compelled to demonstrate all that they know, hence they may sometimes surprise those around them when they do choose to speak up.

In view of the percentages mentioned earlier you need to keep constantly in mind that most publishers are moderately to highly verbal people, and hence different than the quiet publishers within the congregation. What makes good common sense to such ones may be the worst thing they could do for someone who is quiet. So please don’t ever say, “What if everyone was like you?” (that will never be the case). One final pointer in this area, when an introvert does answer, and they will if they have something to say and feel up to it, don’t ever make a big issue of it for that will draw further attention and hence stress to that one. Therefore never say after the meeting; “I enjoyed your answer”, or “It was good to hear you answer”. If you feel you need to say something then mention something about their comment rather than about the fact that they commented.

Where to Sit

Kingdom Halls have high, moderate, and low interaction areas. The highest are near the front and centre. The lowest are along the sides and in the rear. One of the potentially most harmful things an elder (or attendant) can do is to force a quiet publisher to sit in a high-interaction area of the hall. While the publisher is not likely to talk any more in such an area than if he or she were seated elsewhere, the threat of communication will be felt much more consistently. Under such pressure it is more difficult for the publisher to concentrate on the talks being delivered, and learning will decrease. Allowing publishers to select their own seats avoids harming the quiet ones.

Ministry

Introverts are unlikely to initiate a conversation either with acquaintances or strangers. Introverts will prefer to wait until someone approaches them. This of course doesn’t happen very often in the ministry. Therein lies the problem for Introverts, they have a constant fight to bring themselves to speak to people in the ministry. A fight that subsequently leaves one drained emotionally and physically.

An introverted publisher is most likely happier when working in field service alone as they tend to not like being watched. Although happy to be out with a group in service, they would prefer to be alone on the door-step. This of course would also apply to telephone witnessing or street witnessing. They find it hard to concentrate on what they are doing as well as concentrating on someone else.

Ministry that is much easier on introverts would include aspects such as letter writing.

Socialising

Introverts can feel quite uncomfortable going to a social event where they may not know anyone. If you are hosting a party, you will be doing the Introverts a favour by introducing them to several people, being sure to indicate what they might have in common. Another good idea is to pair them up with an extrovert who will carry the conversation until the Introvert feels more comfortable. Introverts are known for being good listeners.

If you want an introvert to share their thoughts, ideas, concerns and feelings with you then you need to make it easy for them. One would need to stay with them, sit quietly and patiently hear them out. They do not like to be hurried or interrupted as they very easily forget their thoughts.

They may seem reluctant to join in as they will tend to avoid doing anything they have not mastered. They will not risk looking the fool. Their opinions are not easily swayed by others and they will rarely do anything they don’t really want to do just to impress, please, or be accepted by others. This sometimes causes others to erroneously classify them as stubborn and inflexible, as extroverts, in general, feel they can easily manipulate the introvert as they may appear quite and timid.

If the way they see the world is ignored the risk of creating a constantly contentious and hostile environment is greatly increased. Tolerance is communicated when they are accepted for who they are. While they may not appear to be especially happy, that is most often a false appearance. They are different from most people and their style often diverges from the way society in general operates.

The Last Vestige

The Written Review: The one area where the introvert could truly feel comfortable has been replaced by the extrovert friendly Oral Review.

Some Characteristics of Introverts:

- Territorial - desire private space and time

- Happy to be alone - they can be lonely in a crowd

- Become drained around large groups of people; dislike approaching others

- Need time alone to recharge

- Prefer to work on own rather than do group work

- Act cautiously in meeting people

- Are reserved, quiet and deliberate

- Concentrate well and deeply

- Become absorbed in thoughts and ideas

- Limit their interests but explore deeply

- Communicate best one-on-one

- Get agitated and irritated when without enough time to think or act.

- Do not enjoy being the centre of attention

- Do not share private thoughts with just anyone

- Form a few deep attachments

- Think carefully before speaking (practice in head before speaking)

- See reflection as very important

- Select activities carefully and thoughtfully

- Contributed

 

[Ann O'Maly]

[Melinda Mills]

Head a lot about that at work, too.  I believe there is another category because I love talking, commenting, approaching people, writing on a forum or on Facebook, but I like my own space. I like the richness of a one-on-one communication and I also enjoy my own company and hobbies that I can pursue on my own (art, piano, etc). I can and do still contribute to the team spirit without any problems.

[Alexa]

I do receive "it was good to hear you answer" because i stopped answering once back then andits my routine to do answer all the time. Its also because i prepare but i dont rely to them. 

[Alexa]

Seating in sides instead of the front can be a challenge. The conductor would not see you raising your hand 3rd time.

[JaniceM]

That was a very good article.  Thank you.

[Evacuated]

There's a balance to be found between\;

Proverbs 18:1: "Whoever isolates himself pursues his own selfish desires; He rejects all practical wisdom."

and

Galatians 5:26: "Let us not become egotistical, stirring up competition with one another, envying one another."