CAN WE SPOT A LOST SHEEP ?......

[Queen Esther]

YES,  maybe  better,  "source  unknown"....  @JW Insider    But  really  the  deep  thought  of  a  story  is  much more  importend  than  a  source,  that  my  opinion !  Other  Brothers / Sisters  thinking  the  same...

[Anna]

On 7/17/2017 at 10:36 AM, TrueTomHarley said:

Well - it's very touching but it's hardly rocket science. There are not 500 people in a Kingdom Hall. There are usually under 100. I look around, and when I see someone I don't know, I walk up and talk to them.

It is not rocket science of course. Unfortunately there exist some members of the congregation who are a little "different" and because of that don't get included, and sometimes get outright ignored by the majority. A brother once told me about his wife and two sons. His wife had severe depression, but despite that, would come and sit at the back of the hall. From what he said, I gathered the friends pretty much ignored her. Maybe because they just didn't know what to say to her. Maybe because she was "weird". Unfortunately, it also seems that no one paid much attention to her sons either. Sadly, both her sons left the truth, and one remarked that with the true religion there is supposed to be love, and he didn't feel any love. Of course, that may have just been an excuse, but I know for a fact that there can be many cliques inside a congregation and if you happen not to fit in one, you can be very much on your own, and feel it. Cliques are a natural phenomenon. Mother's with young children hang out with other mothers with young children. Teenagers hang out with other teenagers etc. We have 3 older sisters in our congregation who ALWAYS sit together, so much so that one elder called them the 3 amigos from the platform. But there are some friends that just don't fit anywhere. That is why it's so important to "widen out" and put in special effort to include them. Which means real effort on our part, because it may mean not only inviting that "weird" family to our party, but also paying attention to them on a regular basis....

[James Thomas Rook Jr.]

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That has been my personal experience, and my direct observations in approximately 80% of all the Congregations I have attended in the past 50 and more years ...and have watched it escalate dramatically as the "love of the greater number" has cooled off.

I cherish the other 20% ... but it was such a long time ago .....

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[TrueTomHarley]

For whatever it is worth, when I was an elder, I kept my own personal check list of all attendees. During the course of the meeting I would discreetly (I hope) look about and place a check/no check by everyone's name. It is too easy to fall through the cracks when there are many things to occupy one's attention. To the extent possible, I wished to avoid that.

I stopped serving for a variety of reasons and forgot all about my lists. Two decades later, I visited my daughter's congregation and sat next to her. There in her lap was a list on which she was discretely entering check marks.

I don't claim that we are always good at human interaction. But we are head and shoulders above the world in general where people ask: "so, what do you do?" and if there is no interesting job or interest in something contemporary and silly, have no idea how to interact afterwards and sort of look forward to slipping away.

Some of it comes with age. But if age has conspired to make one self-centered, that does not help, either. Everyone is self-centered to some degree. More than any group I know, JW's help people to break away from that.

[Queen Esther]

Thanks for your compassionate comments, dear brothers & sisters.
I understand you very well;  we are all imperfect and can't watching anywhere!
We also have a bad phase and need it,  maybe some nice words or some help....
We live in an evil world and unfortunately make mistakes again and again!

I know some problems from my congregation too. Many brothers showing love, but some can't do, thats fact.
But if EVERYBODY  tries, love can grow

Let's pray for more love in our congregation and let's try watching more with our hearts ❤ 

( Jehovah will be happy...)
In this sense,  my best wishes to ALL

[PeterR]

The elder body I served with also seemed to need a check list. Not just of people mind you, but a check list of how those people ranked spiritually based on metrics like meeting attendance, hours in FS, etc. Then the people on the check list would be dealt with according to their spiritual ranking.

Yeah JTR, maybe it's not rocket science, but some people make it more like a science than a humanity.

[Anna]

2 hours ago, PeterR said:

The elder body I served with also seemed to need a check list. Not just of people mind you, but a check list of how those people ranked spiritually based on metrics like meeting attendance, hours in FS, etc. Then the people on the check list would be dealt with according to their spiritual ranking.

Yeah JTR, maybe it's not rocket science, but some people make it more like a science than a humanity.

I suppose by spiritual ranking you mean spiritual health, which is usually an indicator of overal health and happiness. Therefor those who are spiritually low, as indicated by some factors you mention, then those need more help and encouragement than others, or as you put it, "need to be dealt with". I'm afraid you make it sound more like a science than a humanity.

[TrueTomHarley]

9 hours ago, PeterR said:

The elder body I served with also seemed to need a check list.

Did they or didn't they?

9 hours ago, PeterR said:

Not just of people mind you, but a check list of how those people ranked spiritually based on metrics like meeting attendance, hours in FS, etc. Then the people on the check list would be dealt with according to their spiritual ranking.

Would you be upset if a doctor considered a person's 'metrics' before 'dealing with him?'

[PeterR]

59 minutes ago, TrueTomHarley said:

Would you be upset if a doctor considered a person's 'metrics' before 'dealing with him?'

 

You do give me a wry smile TH.

If the congregation average hours is 10hrs then >10hrs = spiritually okay, <10hrs = something wrong

(Gal 6:4 anyone?)

And those 10hrs can be standing by a cart smiling, but they can't be visiting the sick, helping the elderly, etc.

Where are these metrics found in God's Word? Can you not just know a brother/sister well enough to know how they are truly doing spiritually? Or is that a part of the problem - more time spent gathering metrics than getting to know people?

 

[b4ucuhear]

People making the effort to come to meetings should see our weekly arrangements as an oasis from the daily cares and problems heaped upon them from Satan's system. Each of us should take it as a personal responsibility to make the meetings refreshing and something to look forward to for the rest of our spiritual family, where they will be valued, loved, comforted and appreciated. It starts with us and the love we have and the way we express it. Our elder body doesn't have any "lists" of who attends every meeting although we have a schedule to visit certain ones. But aside of that, we can do what we already know we should be doing individually. Of course, greeting new ones or those we haven't seen in a while, but more. As a memory aid, it may help to make notes during the meeting of what comments, parts etc we can sincerely express appreciation for afterwards. I need to write down what was said and how it helped me in order to say something like: "I'm glad I came to the meeting tonight. Your comment about (...) is something really helpful to me/I learned something/I never thought of it that way..." Or something like that. I learned something from serving in the foreign language field. We all love our brothers and sisters, but some cultures are more expressive in how they show it - which contributes to a warm, accepting and loving atmosphere. I have also seen cliques become a problem in some congregations and so it is important to widen out. Elders especially can set the tone for the congregation. True they have a lot of things to attend to, but it shouldn't be "all business" - only talking to other elders after the meeting - which can look like a clique in itself. True we can't speak to every individual during every meeting, but when we speak to others, our focus should be on them, even if it means pulling up a chair and sitting beside them while they express themselves (usually for older ones). When we learn about the love Jehovah and Jesus express toward us, it's natural that we would want to imitate them in how we treat our brothers and sisters. It is nice to see the concern reflected in some of the comments here of how inclusive we should be of those who are different.

[TrueTomHarley]

1 hour ago, PeterR said:

And those 10hrs can be standing by a cart smiling, but they can't be visiting the sick, helping the elderly, etc.

Oh? And those passing by a cart are all skipping and laughing over the sheer joy of life and banishment of cares?

In fact, doing good is much like exercising a muscle, or working out your brain. It triggers a bottomless capacity to do more. It is not the win-lose situation you seem to be stuck on. It is a win-win.

The '"ten hours" (your emphasis - not mine) is not a lot, and it represents helping people, as it is a measure of Jesus command to preach the good news. Generally speaking, people who do it will not be too busy to also visit the sick and the elderly. And people too self-absorbed to do it will not instead visit the sick and the elderly.

[TrueTomHarley]

Dr. Mike 'Ace' Inhibitor strode into the hospital to see his patient, who looked grim. "Nurse, get me this man's metrics." he said. 

His nurse, Hep See, was shocked. "Doctor, this is a person, not a collection of 'metrics!' she rebuked the man.

"All I meant was..." the doctor began.... "It's very clear what you meant!" she shot back. "You need more love!"

"Oh for crying out loud!" Dr. Inhibitor cried in disgust. "Give me a hack saw. We're going in blind."