My Sister Won’t Accept My Same-Sex Partner. What Should I Do?

[Patiently waiting for Truth]

https://www.nytimes.com/2021/08/10/magazine/homosexuality-jehovahs-witness.html

The magazine’s Ethicist columnist on how tolerance may hold together a family whose members have very different beliefs and values.

 

Aug. 10, 2021

I am in a deeply committed, “finally found the one” relationship with another woman. But my oldest sister, close to everyone else in my family, has declined to meet her, and we have been estranged for the past two years because of it. I’ve been unwilling to have a relationship with my sister that does not include my partner. Although my family are Jehovah’s Witnesses, this sister is a particularly stringent one. I left the religion at the age of 18, having never been baptized. My parents play both sides by telling us that they love and accept my partner while also sympathizing with my sister’s disgust for same-sex relationships and her view that mine ought not to be welcomed into the family. A few months ago, I asked a sister whom I do have a relationship with to take my young son for two weeks at her home in the Midwest and requested that my other sister, because of our strained relationship and the pandemic, not be allowed to visit him. My estranged sister grew enraged and showed up anyway. She was allowed in, and no one ever apologized to me. I felt violated and betrayed.

This is a long article but I'm sure you get the idea of it from this short bit.

Of course we know that same sex relationships are wrong, but I know of people in such relationships, relatives in fact, and i know that I have never ignored those people and never 'shunned' them.  This article shows how different family members, all JWs, deal with it differently.  I hope all of you handle such situations in a loving way, though of course each persons conscience may differ. 

 

 

[Alzasior Lutor]

Patiently waiting for Truth
What does the Creator think of those who "practice" homosexuality? (Just to see "if" you know)
Best regard !

[Patiently waiting for Truth]

13 hours ago, Alzasior Lutor said:

Patiently waiting for Truth
What does the Creator think of those who "practice" homosexuality? (Just to see "if" you know)
Best regard !

Oh ! you of little faith. What is your aim with this question ?  You speak like a Pharisee........... 

I've already made it known in the topic above.  We know it's wrong because we believe God's word and God's word tells us homosexuality is wrong. 

However the point of the topic was that different JWs handle the situation differently. 

So tell me, when you do ministry do you refuse to teach homosexuals ?  Do you actually refuse to speak to homosexuals ? 

Did Jesus refuse to speak or even eat meals with immoral people ? No.  Remember that those ones that Jesus spent time with were Israelites, who would have known the Law and known what God loves and what God hates. 

You should read Luke 7, from verse 36. 

[Space Merchant]

The NYT has been kind of iffy granted it is Left Wing. The article reads that the person's parents have both sides, abhorring same sex marriage, but still respecting the person in question, granted, it is the conduct that does not sit right with those outside of the MSC paradigm, hence what you got highlighted:

1 hour ago, Patiently waiting for Truth said:

My parents play both sides by telling us that they love and accept my partner while also sympathizing with my sister’s disgust for same-sex relationships and her view that mine ought not to be welcomed into the family.

So it is no surprised as to why homosexuality is discouraged. 

The article is pretty short, the NYT isn't known to have long articles, mainly when it commits to their narratives.

1 hour ago, Patiently waiting for Truth said:

Of course we know that same sex relationships are wrong, but I know of people in such relationships, relatives in fact, and i know that I have never ignored those people and never 'shunned' them.  This article shows how different family members, all JWs, deal with it differently.  I hope all of you handle such situations in a loving way, though of course each persons conscience may differ. 

It is bad, and it should be condemn, and such conduct results in various reactions compared to most, be it in a religious household or not, mainly if culture playing a factor in this, granted the person in the articles mentions traveling between countries. The sister did not shun her totally due to what is read in the article, but, she shows a high level of annoyance and disgust of same-sex marriage, granted she becomes intertwined with said conduct knowing of what Scripture says on the homosexuality.

 

• The article addresses how same sex relationships is seen by the person and the family, even a child involved as to which the idea of same sex relations is something the child in question.
• The person in question puts a lot of allusions to sexuality, even adding the MSC view of it vs. JWs.
• The family wasn't really shunning each other, but had limited contact, mainly for the fact the news of same sex relationships hit them are, to which you have one side for sexuality and the other speaking as to why embracing said sexuality is an err. The person in question relocated/distanced herself.
• Article mentions Creeds, Anti-Trinitarians do not hold to creeds, even by means of Family for the notation of Homosexuality derives from Scripture. This goes hand in hand with the remark of tolerance in this regard.
• In the article, Coherentism was mentioned, which is philosophical epistemology. So the article makes remarks to not just Homosexuality, but adds philosophy in it, even make a comparison. Christianity and majority of philosophy do not mix.
• It is also evident the adoption of a subnet of Western culture is very strong here too.

 

Full Article below, granted people do not have a paid sub to NYTs.

 

NOTE: The NYT is among the Left wing sources that is in high support of the LGBTQ community, the article you mentioned is on the list - https://www.nytimes.com/spotlight/lgbtq

I am in a deeply committed, “finally found the one” relationship with another woman. But my oldest sister, close to everyone else in my family, has declined to meet her, and we have been estranged for the past two years because of it. I’ve been unwilling to have a relationship with my sister that does not include my partner. Although my family are Jehovah’s Witnesses, this sister is a particularly stringent one. I left the religion at the age of 18, having never been baptized. My parents play both sides by telling us that they love and accept my partner while also sympathizing with my sister’s disgust for same-sex relationships and her view that mine ought not to be welcomed into the family. A few months ago, I asked a sister whom I do have a relationship with to take my young son for two weeks at her home in the Midwest and requested that my other sister, because of our strained relationship and the pandemic, not be allowed to visit him. My estranged sister grew enraged and showed up anyway. She was allowed in, and no one ever apologized to me. I felt violated and betrayed.

As a result, I relocated with my son to a temporary rental near the university where I am a student, and I keep a distance from all my family members. Though it has meant less contact between my son and his grandparents (with whom he is very close), I took this step to protect my own mental health. Since then, I have been accused of taking my son away and “using my son as a weapon,” and these claims have circulated in the family even though we have visited my parents multiple times in the last several months. And in the past few years, my oldest sister had regular FaceTimes with my son when my mother was watching him. It has never been my intent to take away his aunt. All I’ve ever asked of my oldest sister is to meet my significant other and have a more normal relationship with us.

The times we have visited have not been free from drama: Once, when my father was talking on the phone with my estranged sister, I even overheard her say disparaging things about me. How can they expect me to feel comfortable visiting when this kind of upsetting thing might occur — and my son might even overhear it? I have tried to delay confrontation by saying I am busy finishing my studies, but my family feels my coldness and will not stop confronting me. This confrontation, in turn, feels a lot like gaslighting: How is it my fault that they feel this way about same-sex relationships? My family continues to deny that my oldest sister has done anything wrong, and they don’t see their complicity in the matter. I asked for mediation and even offered to cover the costs, providing my estranged sister did the legwork of finding the mediator. When they finally contacted a mediator, the professional mediation team, after individual consultations with us, concluded that there was “no mediatable issue.”

Am I wrong to insist that my oldest sister meet my partner if she wants a normal relationship with me and my son? Am I wrong to take a step back from the rest of my family and limit our contact because of their role in condoning this? And my most nagging question: Is there really no mediatable issue? Name Withheld
In a perfectly just world, everyone in your family would celebrate the successful, loving relationship you and your partner enjoy. (Congratulations, by the way.) You are owed acceptance and support, and those who deny this to you are in the wrong.

End of story? Clearly not. Jehovah’s Witnesses are among the Christian faith groups that espouse a “hate the sin, love the sinner” attitude toward homosexuality. It’s possible that your mediators withdrew because they feared tangling with religious doctrine, which can indeed make fraught situations even more so. If your oldest sister told them, accurately, that the family’s creed, as promulgated by its Watchtower Society, disapproves of homosexual acts, they might have concluded that there was nothing more to be said or done.
I’m a little more hopeful. First, while you’re understandably hurt and affronted, you’re also eager for reconciliation. Second, your parents and your other sister also want everything to work out — and happily spend time with you as a couple. Complications, of course, set in immediately. First, precisely because they want family harmony, they’re caught between you and your oldest sister. Second, they’re presumably not departing from their faith and its views about sin; they’re simply not challenging you on this.

It’s easy to dismiss tolerance as weak tea. Yet it’s what makes most families — most communities — work.

This is tolerance in the classic sense: They are putting up with, or looking past, the fact that you and your partner have a sexual relationship. In many circles these days, “tolerance” has a bad name; shouldn’t we really hold out for respect? It’s easy to dismiss it as weak tea. Yet tolerance of this sort is what makes most families — most communities — work. Tolerance enables people with different belief systems to live together, sometimes peaceably, sometimes lovingly. That’s no weak tea. You naturally object that these three family members are putting up with — rather than challenging — your sister’s disparagement of you, as well. But this would seem to be because they love you both. They don’t want to be fighting constantly with either of you, and they don’t think either of you is going to change.

You, too, are practicing tolerance, of course: You are putting up with the mistaken belief that there’s something wrong with the exercise of your sexuality. Although your family members belong to a creed you’ve rejected, you have reached a modus vivendi with them that seems mostly to have worked. You keep your self-respect by making it clear whenever they do wrong by you.

That happened when your non-estranged sister allowed your oldest sister to spend time with your son after you explicitly asked her not to. Yet (the voice of tolerance says) the sister looking after your child was in a difficult situation, with an angry sibling at her door. It’s understandable that she took the easier way. And you’d like your son to continue having a relationship with his grandparents and his aunts. So, now that you’ve made it clear what you think, there seems little point in trying to get them to acknowledge they erred in indulging your intolerant sister. What you can insist on is that you won’t leave your son with your parents again unless they promise that he won’t be with your oldest sister or otherwise exposed to disparagement of your relationship.

And they’ll accede to this only if they can persuade themselves that it isn’t a rejection of their eldest daughter. Yes, this is all maddening, and yes, there will be people who will zealously urge you to sever your ties with the lot of them. But for you, I suspect, amputation would leave you with phantom limb pain; you’ll still be fuming about their baseless claims and rehearsing majestic, irrebuttable arguments.
How much contradiction can you live with? Many philosophers, over the generations, have thought it terribly important that all our beliefs be consistent; according to “coherentism,” a belief is justified if it coheres with our other beliefs. In real life, the normative and factual beliefs we hold are a patchwork quilt. (I suppose that’s particularly obvious to me, having grown up on two continents with friends and family members belonging to very different ways of life and modes of thought, but it’s true for all of us.) Hence your family’s seemingly untroubled desire to maintain a loving relationship both with you and your intolerant sister. Concord, not coherence, is the goal.

Your most consequential choice is about what you want from your stringent sister. Christian traditions are rich and complex. As a result, people often pick out the parts that suit them. I confess to preferring the more open and loving side of Christianity — Christ’s caution that we shall be judged as we judge, that we ought to mind the beam in our own eye before we attend to the mote in the other fellow’s. So don’t give up quite yet: Remind your sister of these teachings. Even if homosexuality were wrong, hatred or contempt for conscientiously mistaken family members would be wrong, too. And unlike your sexuality, your sister’s attitudes are something she has it in her power to change. In this context, the Watchtower Society specifically directs our attention to its rendering of I Peter 2:17: “Respect everyone.” You have choices to make. So does she.

[Alzasior Lutor]

I am franch language. As that situation, i translate your comment:

« Oh ! vous êtes de peu de foi. Quel est le but de cette question ?  Tu parles comme un pharisien........... 

Je l'ai déjà fait savoir dans le sujet ci-dessus.  Nous savons que c'est mal parce que nous croyons la parole de Dieu et la parole de Dieu nous dit que l'homosexualité est mal. 

Cependant, le point du sujet était que les différents JWs gèrent la situation différemment. 

Alors dites-moi, quand vous faites du ministère, refusez-vous d'enseigner aux homosexuels ?  Refusez-vous vraiment de parler aux homosexuels ? 

Jésus a-t-il refusé de parler ou même de manger avec des personnes immorales ? Non. Rappelez-vous que ceux avec qui Jésus a passé du temps étaient des Israélites, qui connaissaient la loi et savaient ce que Dieu aime et ce qu'il déteste. 

Vous devriez lire Luc 7, à partir du verset 36. 

Luc 

7:36  Or, un des Pharisiens lui demandait de déjeuner chez lui. Il entra donc dans la maison du Pharisien et s’étendit à table.

7:37  Et, voyez, une femme, qui était connue dans la ville comme pécheresse, apprit qu’il était étendu à table dans la maison du Pharisien, et elle apporta un récipient d’albâtre rempli d’huile parfumée ;

7:38  et, se plaçant derrière, à ses pieds, elle se mit à pleurer et commença à lui mouiller les pieds de ses larmes, et elle les essuyait avec les cheveux de sa tête. De plus, elle embrassait tendrement ses pieds et les enduisait avec l’huile parfumée.

7:39  À cette vue, le Pharisien qui l’avait invité se dit en lui-même : “ Cet [homme], s’il était prophète, saurait qui et quelle sorte de femme elle est, celle qui le touche : que c’est une pécheresse. ”

————
 Puis il dit à la femme : « Tes péchés sont pardonnés. » 49 Ceux qui étaient étendus à table avec lui commencèrent à se dire entre eux : « Qui est cet homme qui va jusqu’à pardonner les péchés ? » 50 Mais il dit à la femme : « Ta foi t’a sauvée. Va en paix. »
———————-

Cette femme de foi a-t-elle persister dans son péché ?
1 Jean 

3:4  Tout homme qui pratique le péché pratique aussi l’illégalité, et ainsi le péché est l’illégalité.

3:5  Vous savez aussi que celui-là a été manifesté pour enlever [nos] péchés, et il n’y a pas de péché en lui.

3:6  Tout homme qui demeure en union avec lui ne pratique pas le péché ; tout homme qui pratique le péché ne l’a pas vu et n’est pas non plus parvenu à le connaître.

1John 3:
6 Everyone remaining in union with him does not practice sin; no one who practices sin has either seen him or come to know him. 
7 Little children, let no one mislead you; the one who practices righteousness is righteous, just as that one is righteous. 
8 The one who practices sin originates with the Devil, because the Devil has been sinning from the beginning. For this purpose the Son of God was made manifest, to break up the works of the Devil.
======================

 

Forgiveness is for the repentant and those who "turn from their sight. 

1 John 3:6 .... Mentions the "practice" of sin.
================

Just to know your knowledge about God's feelings, I repeat my question (and hope for a clear answer on the subject by NOT answering my question, or deflecting this question): FOR YOU, in "your opinion", what does the Creator think about homosexuality. 

I anticipate your answer.
Thank you! 
 

[Space Merchant]

@Alzasior Lutor Well this is something. Et bien c'est une surprise, quelqu'un qui parle francais. Mais comme je l'ai dit a l'autre gars. L'homosexualite est une mauvaise conduite, immorale. Bien que vous ne puissiez pas hair la personne (selon la culture et les gens) cela peut varier, cependant, la CONDUITE est mauvaise, detestable a Dieu. Et ce qui est mauvais, cette conduite, nous ne l'acceptons pas.

Le truc, c'est que les gens peuvent le voir, s'ils sont Temoins de Jehovah ou non. Le mariage homosexuel n'est pas vu sous un bon jour par la plupart.

[Patiently waiting for Truth]

13 hours ago, Alzasior Lutor said:

Just to know your knowledge about God's feelings, I repeat my question (and hope for a clear answer on the subject by NOT answering my question, or deflecting this question): FOR YOU, in "your opinion", what does the Creator think about homosexuality. 

I anticipate your answer.
Thank you! 

I answered you above, and I'm sorry I do not know how to speak or write in French.

You indeed seem to think and write like a Pharisee.  My answer above does not deflect the question, BUT I can tell that your real reason for asking is not because you want a true answer.  You attitude is that of a Pharisee. You want to live by the LAW not by God's love through Jesus Christ.  

Tell me then, does God see a difference between Homosexuals and Homosexuality ? 

I wish I was clever enough to find the reference where by @JW Insider suggested that at one time a member of the GB was 'probably' a homosexual. 

[Space Merchant]

18 minutes ago, Patiently waiting for Truth said:

I wish I was clever enough to find the reference where by @JW Insider suggested that at one time a member of the GB was 'probably' a homosexual. 

This? As addressed in his comment.

 

Also EDIT: in the comments for the article, the only commenters in it are Left Wingers. Some of them made a remark that the Bible, God's Word is homophobic. 

 

 

And to his credit, some of his remarks:

 

 

 

[Alzasior Lutor]

Patiently waiting for the truth
Je traduit:
«

Je vous ai répondu plus haut, et je suis désolé de ne pas savoir parler ou écrire en français.

Vous semblez en effet penser et écrire comme un pharisien.  Ma réponse ci-dessus ne détourne pas la question, MAIS je peux dire que votre vraie raison de demander n'est pas que vous voulez une vraie réponse.  Votre attitude est celle d'un pharisien. Vous voulez vivre selon la LOI et non selon l'amour de Dieu en Jésus-Christ.  

Dites-moi donc, Dieu voit-il une différence entre les homosexuels et l'homosexualité ? 

J'aimerais être assez intelligent pour trouver la référence où @JW Insider a suggéré qu'à un moment donné un membre du GB était "probablement" homosexuel. »
—————————————-
 

There is a difference between homosexuality and homosexuality.
Someone can be a homosexual, either by "practicing" it, or by not practicing it. 

The subject in the post is a "practicing" homosexual.

Answer, please, I repeat: according to you, what does God think, and I specify here, of the "practiced" homosexuality, example: Sodom and Gommore?

I have not yet seen your answer.

I still hope!
 

 

 

[Alzasior Lutor]

 

 

 Patiently waiting for Truth

Jude 1
 ⁴ For certain individuals whose condemnation was written about^[b] long ago have secretly slipped in among you. They are ungodly people, who pervert the grace of our God into a license for immorality and deny Jesus Christ our only Sovereign and Lord.

⁵ Though you already know all this, I want to remind you that the Lord^[c] at one time delivered his people out of Egypt, but later destroyed those who did not believe. ⁶ And the angels who did not keep their positions of authority but abandoned their proper dwelling—these he has kept in darkness, bound with everlasting chains for judgment on the great Day. ⁷ In a similar way, Sodom and Gomorrahand the surrounding towns gave themselves up to sexual immorality and perversion. They serve as an example of those who suffer the punishment of eternal fire.

⁸ In the very same way, on the strength of their dreams these ungodly people pollute their own bodies, reject authority and heap abuse on celestial beings.

———————————

The love of God d’nt  mean that he (The Father) loves all the sins and does not care about your conduct. 
To come to such a perverted reasoning is a lie inspired by the master liar. 
————
Do you Know what is the filling of the true God about this question of homosexuality. 
FOR YOU, in "your opinion", what does the Creator think about homosexuality ?

According to your previous comment, it seems that he doesn't care... Is that is your opinion ?
————————————-
 

[Space Merchant]

@Alzasior Lutor Je sais que les Temoins de Jehovah ne font pas de politique, mais cet article est associe au The New York Times, un journal Left-Wing. L'article, enfin tous les articles sur le mariage et les relations homosexuelles, ou sur la sexualite l'encouragent parfois, et quiconque s'y oppose, est considere comme homophobe. Vous pouvez meme le voir même dans les commentaires. Ils ne se soucient pas de la foi JW, mais de la Parole de Dieu, et ils appellent la Parole de Dieu homophobe. Va meme jusqu'à ajouter la philosophie qui est adoptee par le christianisme dominant.

Bien que ce soit un cas malheureux de ceux qui appliquent la culture americaine, puisque les gens reagissent comme ils le font aux relations homosexuelles, savent que la conduite est mauvaise, ils ne peuvent pas resister a la Parole de Dieu - ils tiennent toujours.

[Alzasior Lutor]

Space Merchant,
Révélation 

12:12  Malheur à la terre et à la mer, parce que le Diable est descendu vers vous, ayant une grande fureur, sachant qu’il [n’]a [qu’]une courte période. ”

———————

Satan est présentement déchainé….
————————

Patiently waiting for Truth

Revelation 

12:12 Woe to the earth and the sea, for the devil is come down to you in great wrath, knowing that he hath but a short time. "
-------

Satan is presently unleashed....
--------